Jimmy: Just because I’m destroying you, I’m not about to rest, not after watching Carolina, Dallas and Phil Mickelson crumble over the last week. Therefore, I’ve instructed Javier Vazquez to throw a fastball at your head. Do it, Javier! Do it!
Leo: Spare yourself the fine–I’m actually picking up Mark “Batting Practice” Prior. Can I count the opposition’s home runs as my own?
Jimmy: He’ll be fine, and you’ll get Derrek Lee back pretty soon, so things should be competitive again. Like next season.
Leo: Oh, you son of a–(deep breaths, happy place, deeeeep breaths. Aaaaand exhale. Aaaaand think of something smug to say about Matt Murton.) Oh yeah? How about that Matt Murton? He’s a real … hindrance to your team. (No good! Abort! Abort!)
Jimmy: Geez, you’re really losing your mind. From now on you can use as much Human Growth Hormone as you want. But remember what the doctor said: You have to stop if you finally start growing pubic hair.
Leo: I don’t want what you’ve got growing on your skull, if that’s what you mean. And if a doctor ever gives me HGH, I’m sending it to my players.
Jimmy: News flash: Paul Konerko named AL Player of the Week. Now go get your shine box.
WEEK 11 RESULTS
Bird Brains won the week (6-4) and lead the series, 8-2-1.
