We called out for readers, and RedEye reader Jonathan Rosen called back. He’s a Cleveland fan, but he’s still a nice person. Want to exchange birdcalls? Visit chicagoredeye.com/fiveonfive.
TOPIC 1: WHAT’S YOUR FONDEST MEMORY OF THE BULLS’ “GREAT PREP EXPERIMENT”?
Phillip Thompson: That game Tyson made a shot AND Eddy got a rebound. Ha! Crazy, right? Good time.
Leo Ebersole: That one game where Eddy Curry actually boxed somebody out to get a rebound.
Brian Moore: That one time, when Eddy Curry actually put forth some effort. Brings a tear to my eye.
Whizzer: The way it made Jamal Crawford look like a veteran leader.
Jonathan Rosen: I was in Cleveland for Jordan’s shots in ’89 and ’93. Fond memories? I’m not over the painful ones.
TOPIC 2: HOW MANY HOT DOGS COULD YOU EAT IN 12 MINUTES?
Phillip Thompson: It’s Friday, the reader has to do it for me. So … 76? Heck, make it an even 80.
Leo Ebersole: Enough to project my reversal of fortune onto Jonathan’s lap.
Brian Moore: I’m vegetarian, so zero. But give me some tofu dogs–ugh, maybe not.
Whizzer: OFFICE HARASSMENT. THIS IS OFFICE HARASSMENT!
Jonathan Rosen: Maybe one. There’s some crazy stuff in there. Don’t worry Whizzer, it’s not what you think.
TOPIC 3: GIVE SOMEONE ON THIS PANEL YOUR OWN BRAND OF SENSITIVITY TRAINING.
Phillip Thompson: Jonathan, don’t say “suck.” Say “athletically challenged.” Use it and “the Cubs” in a sentence.
Leo Ebersole: Phil, I’m going to connect these electrodes to an unpleasant place, but it’s for the best.
Brian Moore: Leo, we’re all winners here, no matter how underwhelming Northwestern’s athletic program is.
Whizzer: Leo, hug Phil. Phil, kiss Leo. Jon, film this. Brian, post it on chicagoredeye.com.
Jonathan Rosen: I’d say 15 seconds with Ozzie Guillen after a Sox loss.
TOPIC 4: HOW DO YOU PICTURE LANCE ARMSTRONG WATCHING THIS TOUR DE FRANCE?
Phillip Thompson: He won’t watch. For some reason he’s transfixed by “Wheel of Fortune.”
Leo Ebersole: In an effort to recreate the feel, he’ll be looking back over his shoulder the whole time.
Brian Moore: On a stationary bike in his living room, and he still smokes the other riders.
Whizzer: Same way I do: Huge sofa, polka-dot boxers and a pitcher of margaritas.
Jonathan Rosen: He’s wearing one of the 61 yellow jerseys he owns. And he’s laughing.
TOPIC 5: PREDICT HOW BENNY THE BULL SPENDS THIS WEEKEND.
Phillip Thompson: Getting fixed.
Leo Ebersole: He’s booking a charter to Italy or France. Depends on which country is rioting.
Brian Moore: A la “Blazing Saddles,” he punches a police horse while gorging himself at Taste of Chicago.
Whizzer: Sensitivity training where he will learn … TO DO WHEELIES!
Jonathan Rosen: Ten rounds with Mike Tyson. I’ll take Benny in 7; Tyson’s out of shape.
