Bye weeks are a killer. Six teams are off for the second week in a row, so I’m standing by the free agent wire like I’m in a soup kitchen line.
Speaking of kitchens, Chicago Tribune At Play writer Glenn Jeffers can’t stand the heat of the RedEye Celebrity Fantasy Football League.
What looked like a surefire powerhouse at the beginning of the season fell apart with players like Cincinnati QB Carson Palmer, Redskins RB Clinton Portis and Oakland’s alleged running back LaMont Jordan.
Jordan looks like he’s reading for the junk heap.
Hmm, interesting I should mention “junk,” people.
Stayed tuned, Smack Corner is next …
SMACK CORNER
Week 7 of the RedEye Celebrity Fantasy Football League pits Fantasy Phil against Glenn Jeffers.
Fantasy Phil: Glenn, you’re 1-5. As commissioner, I officially designate you the Arizona Cardinals of our league.
Glenn: And at 3-2-1, that would make you, what, a hockey team? Don’t worry about me. This week is the start of the comeback. Admittedly it’s been a rough couple of weeks. Clinton Portis believing he’s Southeast Jerome instead of a running back, Chris Henry ridin’ dirty …
Phil: Hey, having the last pick in the draft, I’m earning every win. I had good sense to dispense with loyalty and dump the Redskins defense for the Broncos. I’m also playing Joseph Addai against the Skins this week. Does that make me a bad fan?
Glenn: Bad fan, no. Loyal to a fault, maybe. But hey, I’m still playing Muhsin Muhammad. I think Rex has forgotten he’s on the team.
Phil: Rex was too consumed with his homage to Garo Yepremian to notice Moose. By the way, is LaMont Jordan ever going to see the light of day or is he as buried on your roster as you are in the standings?
Glenn: With Oakland playing the way they’re playing, yeah. And with the game Willie Parker had, Willie’s staying in the starting lineup. But are you sure you wanna keep Neil Rackers (right) in? Last I heard he was on suicide watch.
Phil: Ouch. Too soon to joke about that. Too soon. Rackers will bounce back against Oakland, which brings me back to why you keep glossing over Jordan. I think you’re afraid that picking him so early is LaMont’s way of saying, “You big dummy!”
Glenn: I’ll say this–and let this be a lesson to all you fantasy footballers out there–AUTOPICK AIN’T YOUR FRIEND.
Phil: Right, the waiver wire hasn’t been your friend either, judging by Chris Henry and Donte Stallworth. You old fish-eyed fool.
Glenn: Let me guess, the latest installment from your “Sanford & Son” DVD of the Month club came in, didn’t it?
Phil: Yeah. So what’s you’re point, Weezy?
Start
– Marvin Harrison, WR, Colts vs. Redskins–top CB Carlos Rogers broke thumb. Uh-oh.
– DeShaun Foster, RB, Panthers at Bengals
– Kevin Jones, RB, Lions at Jets
– Antonio Gates, TE, Chargers at Chiefs
Bench
– Andre Johnson, WR, Texans vs. Jaguars–their corners are physical enough to contain him.
– Andrew Walter, QB, Raiders vs. Cardinals
– Cadillac Williams, RB, Bucs vs. Eagles
– Kellen Winslow, TE, Browns vs. Broncos
Sleepers
– Doug Gabriel, WR, Patriots at Bills–Buffalo’s starting to implode.
– Wes Welker, WR, Dolphins vs. Packers
– Marion Barber, RB, Cowboys vs. Giants
– Byron Leftwich, QB, Jaguars at Texans
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plthompson@tribune.com
