If there’s one thing chicagosports.com’s Rahula Strohl should know is that RedEye is against headbands. We promise that all headbands are banned from Five on Five. Nope, no headbands here …
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: WATCH THE BEARS’ FIRST OFFENSIVE PLAY THEN MAKE A RASH GENERALIZATION.
Jimmy Greenfield: If you missed watching the first play you are an absolutely wonderful person.
Stick Figure: Yes, I do have a rash! Wanna see?
Phillip Thompson: A 5-yard pass. Rex is the greatest Bears QB of all time. (Two plays later, he’s intercepted).
Rahula Strohl: Guys named Muhsin can’t break tackles.
Bag Boy: Five-yard catch by Moose. Good job! Gotta be the antlers.
TOPIC 2: WHO IS THE NEXT BIG THREAT FOR THE BEARS?
Jimmy Greenfield: Bond. James Bond.
Stick Figure: Why would girls wear boy shorts? Silly Victoria’s Secrets holiday catalogue!
Phillip Thompson: The Vikings. I believe they used to hunt bear.
Rahula Strohl: Rex Grossman’s Dave Krieg-esque hands.
Bag Boy: The San Diego Chargers. In the Super Bowl. Where I hope you’ll bury me.
TOPIC 3: WHAT IS THE CASIO WORLD OPEN?
Jimmy Greenfield: A nickname for my first girlfriend.
Stick Figure: I feel sticky for some reason.
Phillip Thompson: It’s a golf tournament set to cheesy ’80s synthesizer music.
Rahula Strohl: Me playing “Mary Had a Little Lamb” on the “cello” setting of my friend’s keyboard.
Bag Boy: Unless it’s a tournament to find some offensive help for the Bears, I don’t want to hear it.
TOPIC 4: WHAT DOES SCOTT SKILES HAVE AGAINST HEADBANDS?
Jimmy Greenfield: He grew up in Knit Cap, Mich.
Stick Figure: This thing is too heavy. My neck could snap.
Phillip Thompson: Like Jimmy Greenfield, he’s against head coverings of any kind.
Rahula Strohl: They keep sliding down his hairless head.
Bag Boy: Unless it can score in the paint, it’s got no business on the court.
TOPIC 5: WHAT’S THE REAL REASON ALFONSO SORIANO WANTS TO PLAY WINTER BALL IN THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC?
Jimmy Greenfield: You have no idea how far you can stretch $136 million in the Dominican Republic.
Stick Figure: I can’t say “Alfonso” with peanut butter in my mouth.
Phillip Thompson: Soriano knows the Cubs have no extradition treaty with his homeland.
Rahula Strohl: To party with Sammy and Salma Hayek.
Bag Boy: Let’s see, Chicago in the winter or …
