Today it’s Rahula Strohl (chicagosports.com), the Obnoxious Colts fan and Stick Figure. That has to violate some state’s obscenity laws.
TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: JIMMY’S IN MIAMI RIGHT NOW. IMAGINE WHAT HE’S DOING AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
Phillip Thompson: Applying sunblock to 300-pound lineman Ruben Brown. It’s not by choice.
Leo Ebersole: Picking a Speedo wedgie as he serves Paris Hilton’s entourage a round of drinks.
Rahula Strohl: Well, if he learned his lesson from yesterday, not eating Arby’s.
Obnoxious Colts Fan: Right now he’s begging someone to smear aloe vera on that snow white dome of his.
StickFigure: I imagine he’s imagining unicorns! Me too, Jimmy!
TOPIC 2: PICK A HIGHLIGHT FROM MEDIA DAY AT THE SUPER BOWL.
Phillip Thompson: Jim McMahon saying he won’t watch. He’s a punk, all right.
Leo Ebersole: Definitely when Ricky Proehl compared himself with Jerome Bettis.
Rahula Strohl: Can’t pick between the sunshine and the free food. Do you hate me yet?
Obnoxious Colts Fan: Tank Johnson smiling for his mug shot, err, portrait.
StickFigure: Why don’t you beerski me, palski! See, I’m one of the fellows!
TOPIC 3: SUPER BOWL, SCHMUPER BOWL. PREDICT THIS SEASON’S NCAA MEN’S BASKETBALL CHAMPION.
Phillip Thompson: Ohio State, provided Greg Oden
eats four of the Florida Gators as I predict.
Leo Ebersole: In the upset of the century, it’s the Memphis Grizzlies over
Wisconsin.
Rahula Strohl: UW-Stevens Point. Or did you mean D-I?
Obnoxious Colts Fan: Look out for the Razorbacks, baby!
The center is a 7-foot redneck.
That scares the hell out of me.
StickFigure: Which is it, Super Bowl or Schmuper Bowl. And when is pudding time?
TOPIC 4: WHAT’S SAMMY SOSAS BIGGEST HURDDLE AS HE TRIES TO GET BACK TO THE BIG LEAGUES?
Phillip Thompson: If he continues down his current path, Ricky Ricardo eventually is going to sue.
Leo Ebersole: Keeping himself from doing “the hop” when he grounds out to short.
Rahula Strohl: MLB’s Jheri Curl embargo.
Obnoxious Colts Fan: Hiding the fact that he’s now the “Incredible Deflating Man.”
StickFigure: Well, Sammy should … ooo, a piece of lint. Guide me, O Great Piece of Lint!
TOPIC 5: KOBE BRYANT SAYS HE DIDN’T DESERVE HIS ONE-GAME SUSPENSION. CHEER HIM UP.
Phillip Thompson: How’s he going to create a new bitter rivalry to replace Shaq if the league keeps tying his hands?
Leo Ebersole: Accidental or not, admit that it felt good to elbow Manu Ginobili.
Rahula Strohl: He didn’t deserve three championships, either. No cheer for you.
Obnoxious Colts Fan: You got off pretty easy last time you got in trouble, so stop whining.
StickFigure: If you promise to be good I know where you can get a discount on unicorns!
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