Everybody’s workin’ on the weekend! Scott, Phil, Leo, Tran and Bag Boy don’t mind. It’s not like they have lives. Visit redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
TOPIC 1: WHAT TWO CHICAGO SPORTS FIGURES WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN A BOXING MATCH?
Scott Kleinberg: A.J. Pierzynski and Ronnie “Woo-woo” Wickers.
Phillip Thompson: Coach Ditka vs. Tank Johnson. One rule: No grenades.
Leo Ebersole: Bag Boy and Michael Barrett, only Bag Boy has to paste an A.J. Pierzynski mask on the bag.
Tran Ha: Southpaw vs. Benny the Bull.
Bag Boy: Lou Piniella and Leo Ebersole. And make it a cage match.
TOPIC 2: WORD ASSOCIATION. READY? ‘DETROIT PISTONS’ …
Scott Kleinberg: … “Ford Mustang.”
Phillip Thompson: … “Disturbia.”
Leo Ebersole: … “Dick-Cheney-in-the-morning ugly.”
Tran Ha: … “Coney Island.”
Bag Boy: … “(BLEEP), (BLEEP) and um, oh yes, (BLEEP).”
TOPIC 3: THE KENTUCKY DERBY HAS THE MINT JULEP. CREATE A SPORTS-RELATED DRINK FOR CHICAGO.
Scott Kleinberg: The Great Chicago Fire — cinnamon schnapps, heavy cream and a whole lot of ‘tude.
Phillip Thompson: BG7, Red Bull and Ben Wallace’s flop sweat. Bon appetit, Tran.
Leo Ebersole: The Drano.
Tran Ha: The Chicago Rush: Red Bull, vodka and Mountain Dew. Yech!
Bag Boy: Old Style, Krispy Kremes and brats. Blend for five minutes and serve.
TOPIC 4: YOU’RE A RACEHORSE IN THE KENTUCKY DERBY. NAME YOURSELF.
Scott Kleinberg: Easy Mac.
Phillip Thompson: Show Me The Funny.
Leo Ebersole: Riverbiscuit.
Tran Ha: Tranosaurus Rex.
Bag Boy: Kiss My Sass.
TOPIC 5: THIS TIME NEXT MONTH LOU PINIELLA WILL BE …
Scott Kleinberg:… a big ball o’ stress … Oh, wait …
Phillip Thompson: … institutionalized.
Leo Ebersole: … in last place.
Tran Ha: … ready for a vacation.
Bag Boy: … on my “list.” And you don’t wanna be on my list.
