1. Not-so bright beginning
Took an early peek at the Bulls game, but only a peek. First quarter: 34-18, Detroit. And that’s when I decided to watch something less harmful to my eyes, like the sun.
2. Fat chance, though
A Mets fan filed suit against the team after she said a drunken, 300-pound man fell on her at Shea Stadium. If half the wives in Chicago knew you could sue for that …
3. Just ask Carmelo
“Pacman” Jones’ attorneys say more than 280 NFL players have been arrested or charged since 2000. No one likes a snitch, Pacman — you’ll find that out where you’re headed.
4. And Dumberer
You really want to argue that those miscreants got off with slaps on the wrist? Where are you getting your advice, the firm of Dumb and Dumber?
5. Back to the Bulls
58-43 at halftime. Let me text Big Ben: Wat R UR golf plans next wk?
6. Given the finger
Peyton Manning was just at the White House two weeks ago, but he was invited again for dinner with Queen Elizabeth II. I’m guessing she still has more rings than you, Manning.
7. Disabled enablers
Baseball’s minor leagues set an April attendance record with 5.9 million fans. Good thing Cubs pitchers have drawing power.
8. A matter of perspective
Only 40 percent of fans want Barry Bonds to break the HR record, or as I read it, 60 percent hope it’s Barry who gets launched into McCovey Cove.
9. Last look
So the Bulls lost. On the bright side, at this rate the Pistons won’t be able to celebrate on their home court.
FIVE THINGS
… themes for Game 3
– Let’s delay the inevitable!
– We must neglect this house!
– The Slaughterhouse Five
– It’s never too late for prayer
– Don’t call it a comeback
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REDEYESPORTS@TRIBUNE.COM
