A group of drunken monkeys must have written the script for “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” on table napkins.
My assumption is that Disney was so surprised by the success of the first film, “The Curse of the Black Pearl,” that it forced director Gore Verbinski and everyone else involved to put together a plan for two sequels — and fast.
I’ve heard of studios asking for sequel scripts in as little as two weeks. So much for quality and the creative process.
While I am no less disgusted by “At World’s End” than “Pearl” and No. 2, “Dead Man’s Chest,” I have no doubt that this one also will go on to make millions.
Audiences are simply desperate for escapism. The more we lose ourselves in the pirate world — and this is the only thing “At World’s End” has going for it — the more we feel the film has accomplished something. We forget that we’re fat or poor or neglected, and for almost three hours we imagine that we are disgusting, dirty, foul-mouthed pirates.
If I endeavor to explain the story in any detail, I’ll end up with a review that fills this entire page. The plot offers one ridiculous detail after another. The final battle takes place in a swirling, sucking hole in the middle of the ocean that’s neatly analogous to this film’s place in American culture.
The filmmakers seem actively confused about whom to anoint as their main character. Compared to Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley seem like wooden puppets. Will (Bloom) searches for his father. Elizabeth (Knightley) proves she can hold her own among men. The plot jumps from Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) to Capt. Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat) to the villainous venture between Beckett (Tom Hollander) and Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). Each character introduces another wretched plot point that drives the film further into the realm of discombobulation.
“At World’s End” is appallingly long. What Verbinski and crew seem to call entertainment, I call torture.
Better than: “PC: Dead Man’s Chest”
Worse than: “Master and Commander”
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mrcranky.com
