Somebody help me find my white flag … I keep it handy around here this time of year.
Time to wave it.
I can’t believe how bad the White Sox have become. So here goes. This is an open letter time to General Manager Ken Williams.
Dear Kenny:
Nice concoction. I’m wondering if you could have constructed an older, slower, station-to-station team to compete in the American League Central. Take my advice and make a white-flag trade early this year. You already made one when you dealt Freddy Garcia and Brandon McCarthy. Make a few more. Juan Uribe — my goodness, I don’t believe he’s heard the term “take a pitch.”
I’m told Paul Konerko is our captain, but I say we trade him anyway. One small problem: We may not be able to get much for an over-30 slugger hitting .244.
By the way, I count five — that’s right — five people who are hitting above .250 on that team right now — and one of them is Scott Podsednik.
If I could file a lawsuit right now, I would. I’m not sure what the charges would be. Maybe negligence.
Yeah, neglecting to trade these bums before they became bums. Also constructing the worst bullpen in the history of bullpens. Also, you’ve never found a replacement for Aaron Rowand.
On another note, I’ve got a beef with the scheduling. Someone please explain to me how I’m supposed to get excited over the Phillies, Pirates and Astros. Yeah, I’ve got great memories of those great Sox-Pirates games from back in the day. Mercy.
We should play the Brewers (memories of the old Brew Crew) and Dodgers (memories of ’59), and that’s it.
Moving on to that soap opera on the North Side. I see we had another Michael Barrett episode. This is the part of the after-school special where the other kids go, “I think Michael needs help.”
Let’s get him some — in another city. Trade him now, please.
Knowing the Cubs, though, they’ll probably land another outfielder and then send him to the minors because we already have 15 on our roster. Just ask Matt Murton. No, it isn’t heaven, it’s Iowa. Enjoy it, Matt. In the meantime, welcome our 50th reliever, someone by the name of Clay Rapada.
As for interleague play, thanks. The Mariners-Cubs series gave me great memories of when Lou Piniella was a top-notch manager … with Seattle.
All this angst, and it’s only June.
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SOX HITS
On the basis of his 2.59 ERA and 16 consecutive save conversions, closer Bobby Jenks appears a lock to be the White Sox’s lone representative at the All-Star Game on July 10 in San Francisco. “Right now it’s still about the team,” he said. “We still have a chance to get back in some kind of race here. All those personal accomplishments will come toward the end.”
– Injuries to Scott Podsednik, Pablo Ozuna and Darin Erstad have given left-handed-hitting Rob Mackowiak more playing time as a starting outfielder. He has 144 at-bats with 100 games remaining after getting 255 at-bats in all of 2006.
– Sox players will wear blue wristbands and a blue ribbon on their uniforms Sunday to raise awareness of prostate cancer. MLB, the Prostate Cancer Foundation and Gillette are conducting their 11th annual Home Run Challenge, in which fans can pledge money for each homer hit. For information, log on to gillettepcc.org.
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redeyesports@tribune.com
