1. Money where his mouth is
So Lance Briggs wants to stay now? Sure, pay him — but only if he promises never to speak again. Call it “hush money.”
2. Or Jerry Angelo
Briggs did say the decision to keep him long-term is up to “the person upstairs.” God only knows who he’s talking about.
3. It’s what he does
Carlos Zambrano had a book signing on Wednesday. I’m sure he pointed to the sky after every autograph.
4. Shake Your Love
It’s like Don King traveled back to 1988 and raided Debbie Gibson’s closet for his sparkly jean jacket.
5. Another thing, Don
Were you appointed the official flag bearer of the UN?
6. Something about her
Don was pitching Julio Diaz vs. Juan Diaz at the Sears Centre. If you want me to pony up for tickets, you’re going to have throw in Cameron too.
7. George is getting angry!
George Steinbrenner might take until next week to decide on Joe Torre’s future. Since the Boss is acting as goofy as his “Seinfeld” character, it makes sense that we have to wait until the next episode.
8. Starring Jackie Chan as Joe Torre
Ah, the Yankees. What would be the modern sequel to “The Bronx is Burning”? “Fumble in the Bronx”?
9. Signature move
Instead of talking so much, Terrell Owens has taken to leaving reporters a note on his locker. Written in Sharpie, I presume?
FIVE OTHER FEUDS
… that Lance Briggs should resolve
– Rex Grossman vs. the media
– His Lamborghini vs. a lamppost
– Lauren Conrad vs. Heidi Montag
– Kanye vs. Fitty
– His foot vs. his mouth
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REDEYESPORTS@TRIBUNE.COM
