1. Chicks dig it
Supermodel Heidi Klum says she first fell for husband Seal when he walked by in bicycle shorts and she saw “the whole package.” In other news, Leonardo DiCaprio has converted his entire wardrobe to environmentally friendly spandex.
2. Tip-top
“Crank That (Soulja Boy)” is the No. 1 song in America for a seventh week. Of course, it’s hard to argue with the excellence of lyrics like “Superman that [bleep].”
3. Say hello to that guy
Halle Berry unwittingly drops in on a “Scarface”-themed Halloween party.
4. Coincidence?
New DNA evidence suggests that some Neanderthals had pale complexions and red hair. Kathy Griffin could not be reached for comment.
5. For the kids
Let’s be safe this Halloween: No dressing up as anyone from “I Love New York.”
6. Slush fun
Also — and I feel this rule needs to be repeated — getting ridiculously drunk does not qualify as a Mel Gibson costume.
7. Just asking
Um, whose decision was it to make “Beowulf” look like “Shrek” with knives?
8. Spill it
Explaining his fight at the Waffle House, Kid Rock said: “One thing led to another, and windows were broken.” C’mon, Kid Rock! You yada-yada-yada’d the best part!
9. The missing link
I think I just solved the “Lost” puzzle: The island is a summer camp for DUI offenders.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
