Mike North of “The Mike North Morning Show” on The Score (670-AM) sits in on Wednesdays. Sign up at redeyechicago.com/fiveonfive.
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Tracy Swartz
Mike North
TOPIC 1: WHAT’S BRIAN GRIESE THINKING RIGHT NOW?
“Great, I have to start hanging out with Orton all week again.”
“Uh-oh, the wife’s turning on ‘Project Runway.’ Have … to get … healthy … NOW!”
“Sure, OK, Chicago. Go with Rex. Wake me up when you send out the recall notice.”
He’s wishing he had more Rex appeal.
I don’t want to go back in! It’s rough out there.
TOPIC 2: WHAT CAN A COLLEGE FOOTBALL COACH SAY THAT’S WORTH A $10,000 FINE?
“I won’t say which one but, yeah, I’d nail one of our cheerleaders.”
“Do the BCS people take credit cards?”
“… And here’s the number for the escort service. If they ask, give ’em my account number.”
“I’m Charlie Weis. Extend my sandwich — er, contract.”
“The refs suck” is a good start.
TOPIC 3: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU SHOULD CONCEDE DEFEAT?
Rex Grossman is starting in front of you.
When you’re name is Charlie Weis and you’re about to get out of bed.
When the karaoke battle category is “Spice Girls” and the opponent is Phil.
If you’re watching “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.”
What’s “concede defeat” mean?
TOPIC 4: WHAT WOULD YOU CHANT AT THE UNITED CENTER?
“Here comes a puck! … Ouch, that hurt! … Get me a medic!”
“Darrrrryl! Darrrrryl!” Has absolutely no relevance to Chicago, but it’s a classic.
“Na-cho Che-ddar” (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap).
“Gimme gimme Noah/Gimme gimme/Gimme Jo.”
I don’t chant, but the bookie priest would chant: Blackhawks, good to see you again.
TOPIC 5: WHEN IS IT OK TO MAKE AN OBSCENE GESTURE AT A SPORTING EVENT?
It is always OK, unless you’re sober.
When Ozzie Guillen wants to signal “I love you” to his family watching at home.
When you’re teaching youngsters what they should do when they meet an Illinois fan.
If you’re Angelina Jolie and the gesture is your pants splitting.
Only when it’s directed at family.
