If Turkey Day’s not until Thursday, what are Rahula and Tracy doing here?
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Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Rahula Strohl
Tracy Swartz
TOPIC 1: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE JON GARLAND TRADE?
Absolutely awful, unless Matt Karchner somehow turns his career around.
It’s not wise to give away Garland this close to Christmas.
Plus: In Cabrera you have a 5-tool guy with a “plus” glove. Minus: In the Sox, you have a talent-sucking black hole.
I maintain the Cubs gave up way to much just to get Matt Karchner.
If it doesn’t work out, he can always click his heels. There’s no face like Thome.
TOPIC 2: HOW WOULD THE WORLD CHANGE IF KANSAS PLAYS FOR THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP?
Tracy Swartz would accept deportation back to Florida, a notoriously weak football state.
For the first time in his life, Jimmy would have reason to be obnoxious.
Head coach Mark Mangino would be named our solar system’s ninth planet.
Jimmy will go back there and actually finish his education.
Carhartts would make a fashion resurgence. Look for a bedazzled line in Rave.
TOPIC 3: WHAT PERKS DOES A-ROD GET BY WINNING AL MVP?
For one week, he’ll get to borrow Derek Jeter’s personality.
He’ll finally get the media attention that’s been lacking all year.
Congratulations! You get to be embarrassed by a botched contract negotiation!
Barry Bonds’ indictment isn’t enough of a perk?
More importantly, what perks will Mrs. A-Rod get during her husband’s MVP mood?
TOPIC 4: WHAT CAN MIKE TYSON LEARN FROM 24 HOURS IN JAIL?
It’s probably not a good idea to lisp in prison.
That he is the Jack Bauer of complete idiots.
It isn’t so much a learning process as it is a refamiliarization process.
That there is a place where he belongs.
That jail also bites.
TOPIC 5: WHY ARE THEY MAKING ‘ROCKY’ INTO A BROADWAY MUSICAL?
It took a while but Carl Weathers finally ended his run as the lead in “Annie.”
I don’t know, but I’m guessing the first number is “It’s Showtime … at the Apollo (Creed).”
Because “The Mike Tyson” story isn’t quite as uplifting.
Since “Arrested Development” was canceled, Carl Weathers REALLY needs a gig.
So Sylvester Stallone can be a punch line again.
