There is something very, very weird going on around here. I mean, this is seismic.
We’re talking about an incredible shift in planetary consciousness.
Don’t you know? We’re talking about a revolution.
Unless I’m mistaken, it’s quite possible that an entire generation of Chicago sports fans is about to be introduced to … professional hockey.
It appears Blackhawks’ marketing cheese John McDonough is trying to “televise” all 82 games.
Before we celebrate, here’s a quick update for die-hard season ticket-holders. All six that are left.
To “televise” something means it’s on TV, and you have the option of staying home and watching it on something called a “television.” Current models are reasonably priced and easy to find.
This could be huge. This is so big that I feel like those apes should be jumping around as they do in every significant historical event in “2001: A Space Odyssey.”
I’m hearing “25 to 30 games” on WGN-like it was in the ’60s.
The ’60s! Kennedy, Obama, Hawks on TV. I’m seeing a pattern here!
The times are a changin’. I’m sorry it took a death in the family for this to happen, but that’s the way it is.
I suppose I could start an all-time death wish list for Chicago, so we can all look to a truly limitless future, but I’m not going to do that. I respect the living, people. Only when they die do I then do a column saying they won’t be missed. That’s respect, right there.
Respect is something I’m having a hard time doing with Kerry Wood. Yes, he’s a gamer and he has hung in there.
However, word is he’s suffering from lower back spasms.
Bad news. You need a few things to pitch, and one of them is your back.
Yes, I’m worried. He was to be our closer, you know.
Actually, let’s give Wood a break. I think we should all only get worried if he misses a “simulated start” where he tosses a towel around.
Then it’s really time to throw in the towels.
———-
redeyesports@tribune.com
