1. Commit to your own Cubbie Occurrence
Would you have done this? Johnson paid his own way from Florida to Arizona to play in a Cactus League game hours after clearing waivers. “Boston won the World Series, the White Sox won the World Series, and this is one of the only teams that hasn’t won it,” he said upon his arrival. “I’ve always thought, ever since I started playing baseball, there’s nothing else I’d rather want. That’s why [the Cubs are] my first choice, and really my only choice.”
Johnson later discovered the Cubs actually had won (1907, 1908) but you already knew that.
2. Hair essential
Johnson sports the bald look with a big clump of hair protruding from his lower lip down to his chin. “Hopefully the goat is back,” Johnson said, referring to his resemblance to the infamous billy goat, not the actual goat itself.
3. Flip up the bill of your Cubs cap
Barring an amazing grab for some peanuts at the park, you’re unlikely to pull off Johnson’s amazing catch in very deep left center on Friday against the Nationals (this sentence as published has been corrected in this text).
Seemingly oblivious to his upturned bill after making the catch, Johnson ran off the field to wild applause from Cubs and Nationals fans, unknowingly starting a new fashion statement among Marty Brennaman’s favorite bleacherites.
Gomer Pyle and Jesper Parnevik nod in approval. You can too.
