Some teens dream of being rock stars.
Since she was 14, Jennifer Esposito of St. Charles has dreamed of being a groupie.
“Groupies are rock stars in their own way,” said Esposito, now 19, who goes by Crystal Diamante when dealing with all things groupie (including this story).
Tall, slim and leggy, with heavily lined eyes and bright red lipstick, Diamante wants to be clear: A groupie’s primary aim is not to sleep with anyone and everyone famous. Such star chasers have given groupies a bad name, she said.
Diamante is part of a budding movement to shed the groupie-as-harlot connotation and bring back the glamor and romance of groupie culture from the 1960s and ’70s, when groupies were as much muses and loyal friends to the bands as they were lovers.
“Being a groupie is about being a muse, inspiring a band, supporting them,” said Diamante, who has joined three like-minded groupies to form the Blue Jean Babies, a group of friends intent on restoring groupie chic. “You want to be near them and you want them to know how much you appreciate them.”
And the sex?
It happens, but not always. And it’s not the point, said Lexa Vonn, a groupie based in L.A. who asked to go by her groupie name because that’s how she’s known in the industry.
“First and foremost it’s about the music,” said Vonn, a Marilyn Manson groupie for 13 years. “A real groupie wants to be at the heart of the scene that she loves.”
Vonn has taken the groupie lifestyle to a new level with The Plastics, a sorority of “professional groupies” that she describes as “a rock ‘n’ roll version of the Red Hat Society or the Girl Scouts.” She started the group three years ago as a joke, drawing on the clique from “Mean Girls” as a way to define her clique of groupie friends. To her surprise, it caught on.
Now with 30 chapters around the world, from Chicago to South Africa, The Plastics train wannabe groupies on how to get backstage, run merchandise stands, write articles about bands and perform other acts of super-fandom. They dress up in sexy costumes and dance on stage if requested. They have a handbook of groupie etiquette.
“We’re like the girlfriend, wife, sister, mother, friend, all wrapped into one,” said Vonn, in her late-20s. “Being a groupie is an art form in itself.”
Plenty of musicians appreciate having groupies around.
“Our fans/groupies have been one of the biggest reasons for all of our success over the years,” said Lovehammer bassist Dino Kourelis, who said true groupies are there for the music and don’t have ulterior motives like hooking up with band members.
Rapper Twista said there are three types of groupies: the “good groupies,” who are loyal fans who sport tattoos of his face or name, post messages on his Web site and come to all his shows; the “wild groupies,” who are there to have sex with someone famous; and the “headache groupies,” generally aspiring artists who want to give a demo tape or ask for some connection in the industry.
Even the latter two are appreciated, he said. “We need them,” Twista, 34, said. “I would be upset if I didn’t have those types of groupies because it would make me feel unsuccessful or not pretty.”
Diamante said she realized her groupie “calling” at 14, when, as a fan of Aerosmith, she learned about Bebe Buell — singer, model, mother of Liv Tyler with Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler, all-around super-groupie.
Buell was “very glamorous; tough and beautiful at the same time,” said Diamante, who wanted in.
So Diamante adopted her sparkly groupie name (staying true to her Italian roots, she plugged “diamond” into an online translator to get Diamante), and started frequenting shows at venues like the House of Blues, Congress Theater and the Metro with the goal of meeting bands. She declined to say which bands she has pursued to protect their privacy and not come off like she’s bragging, she said.
Making sure to wear something eye-catching — a sequined scarf, a lacy top, anything with leopard print — she tries to get in the front row to catch the band’s attention. She waits by their bus after the show, her ultimate goal being “to spend quality time with the band,” said Diamante, who in her non-groupie life is a freshman at Dominican University in River Forest and works at a record store in Geneva.
Not everyone buys that groupies are in it for anything more than to bed the band.
To Lily Hanscom, who spent much of her time during high school at the Metro working publicity for bands, groupies were the girls backstage flirting, arms around the band members, not really caring about to whom they’re talking.
“We generally didn’t appreciate them being around,” said Hanscom, who worked with such bands as Kill Hannah and The Plain White T’s before they made it big. “It’s obnoxious. Everything they do seems really fake and really rude.”
Hanscom, now 20 and a psychology major at Ripon College in Wisconsin, remembers going into a dressing room at the Metro to retrieve her coat, only to find a band member having sex on the couch with a groupie whom she never saw again.
“I’ve been around bands long enough to see how much they don’t care about the sex they just had with a groupie,” Hanscom said.
Fall Out Boy frontman Patrick Stump said the band has less interaction with groupies now than when they were starting out, as the crowds are too big for them to meet fans.
Still, he gets the women who flash their breasts during concerts, the kids who wait at their hotel lobby for an autograph and the men who scale fences to shove demos in his hand in hopes that it’ll help get them signed. He said he has been propositioned by a woman in line at an autograph signing. Stump, 24, who has been in committed relationships since joining the band, said he finds it degrading when women throw themselves at musicians.
While being a groupie is a person’s prerogative, he said, the romantic notion of serving as muse might be wishful thinking.
“If I were single and looking for a muse,” Stump said, “I probably wouldn’t be looking for it from a different girl in every town.”
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aelejalderuiz@tribune.com
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So you want to be a groupie?
Some tips on what it takes to be a groupie, and how to do it properly.
Meeting the Band
Go to sound check before a concert, be friendly, meet the sound guys and road crew, and just hang out, said Plastics founder Lexa Vonn. Show up over and over again. “Once you make friends with people, it’s not hard to get backstage,” she said.
Another way is to find a band you’re into when they’re just starting out, go to all their shows, go on tour with them, and be part of their family, Vonn said. That’s why she’s in with Marilyn Manson, who she’s been following since he started.
Crystal Diamante said she generally approaches bands as they’re unloading equipment after a show. She just says hello, tells them the show was good, makes small talk and smiles a lot. She said it’s important to be confident and find a way to stand out (she generally wears some kind of flair). Also, offer to help in any way.
Etiquette
The Plastics have a guide to groupie etiquette. Among the guidelines:
– If a band member gives you a personal phone number, don’t share it with anyone.
– Don’t give sexual favors to the road crew in exchange for backstage passes.
– Don’t get romantic with someone if one of your groupie sisters already has been (unless you clear it with her first).
– Don’t make a hassle of yourself or jump all over the band.
– If there’s a sexual relationship, don’t flaunt it if there’s a wife or girlfriend around. While it’s preferable for groupies to only take up with single musicians, there are gray areas, Vonn said. Some musicians also have open relationships.
