Live, from the RedEye offices, it’s Saturday morning! OK, so most of us are asleep or watching Nickelodeon. Sue us. Or find us at redeyechicago.com/facebookfives.
TOPIC 1: How do you like the Bears’ chances against the Panthers?
Phillip Thompson: A bear can beat a panther, I just can’t figure out how “Moose” Muhammad fits in.
Tracy Swarz: Depends on if a hurricane obliterates Carolina, because the Bears can’t.
Jimmy Greenfield: Sixty percent of the time, they’ll win every time.
Leo Ebersole: I’d much rather Kyle Orton be going against the Panthers than against the cougars.
“That Guy”: Better than my chances at McGee’s at 1 a.m., worse than 3 a.m.
TOPIC 2: Give Matt Forte a nickname that befits a Bears running back.
Phillip Thompson: “Greased Lightning,” which reflects the preferred cooking method of all Bears fans.
Tracy Swarz: “Un-Forte-nate Burden.”
Jimmy Greenfield: “Nancy.”
Leo Ebersole: “Artificial Sweetness.”
“That Guy”: Matt “I like drunk boating and so should you” Forte.
TOPIC 3: Any words of encouragement for the Tom Brady-less Patriots?
Phillip Thompson: If anyone can lift your spirits, it’s Mr. Sunshine, Bill Belichick.
Tracy Swarz: As Bridget Moynahan learned, you don’t need a guy who can’t even commit for a quarter.
Jimmy Greenfield: Welcome to my world.
Leo Ebersole: Hey, at least your coach seems like a forgiving guy. Oh, wait …
“That Guy”: At least you won’t have those Victoria’s Secret models running around.
TOPIC 4: Is it panic time for Chicago’s baseball teams?
Phillip Thompson: We’re close. When it’s time, I’ll send an e-mail from my underground bunker.
Tracy Swarz: It’s not time to bring in Jodi Foster, unless it’s to scare the other team.
Jimmy Greenfield: No, it’s panic time for Chicago’s baseball fans.
Leo Ebersole: You won’t find many fresh diapers in Wrigleyville, let’s just say that.
“That Guy”: Panic time started around early April and ends in mid-October.
TOPIC 5: It seems like the injury bug is biting lately. What’s ailing you right now?
Phillip Thompson: I’m hoping I don’t get sympathy pains for whatever it is “That Guy’s” got.
Tracy Swarz: Whatever “That Guy” can transmit with high fives and butt slaps.
Jimmy Greenfield: I just cut myself shaving, but thankfully I had a Band-Aid for my back.
Leo Ebersole: I strained two fingers watching a week’s worth of buildup to USC-OSU.
“That Guy”: My liver — it got in a brawl with Hornitos tequila last night.
