1 Bird brains
The Cardinals, Eagles and Ravens are in the NFL’s final four. I think I’ve found a solution to the Bears’ problems: Introducing, the Chicago Crows.
2 No Manning’s land
First Peyton, now Eli has been knocked out of the playoffs. The NFL is probably already asking Barack Obama for a Manning-free Super Bowl bailout plan.
3 Let’s go wild
If I see an NFL team run the Wildcat formation one more time, I’m going to run the Throw The Remote Through The Plasma Screen formation.
4 Regression or recession
The Panthers home loss to the Cardinals was a shock. But considering they play in Bank of America stadium, we should have seen Carolina’s collapse coming months ago.
5 Game over?
Pacman Jones told ESPN that he thinks he’ll play in the NFL again. Like his namesake, if teams have an endless supply of quarters, he’s probably right.
6 Impeach them
Along with G-Rod, it’s time to remove the Bulls from the sports scene. Call it a Pay Not to Play scandal.
7 U-G-L-Y
The Bulls have no alibi: They are hard to watch and harder to coach. One thing does come easy to them, though: Losing.
8 The race is on
I was pumped up to see Clint Eastwood’s movie “Gran Torino.” Imagine my surprise when it started and I found out it wasn’t a version of racing video game Gran Turismo.
9 Worst. Casting. Ever.
I don’t want moviegoers to be surprised at “Hotel For Dogs” like I was at “Gran Torino,” so I have this to say: I am not one of the movie’s stars. I tried out but was cut. I’m thinking of filing a weight discrimination suit.
