Quick wits
Today’s panel includes RedEye’s Twitter followers from @redeyechicago. For your shot, sign up at twitter.com/redeyechicago.
Jimmy Greenfield
Leo Ebersole
Tracy Swartz
Brian Moore
Tweeta
How is Arizona different with the Cubs and White Sox there?
It’s a boon to the fast-food industry thanks to the presence of Chicago’s media.
Ozzie Guillen and John McCain have a fun call-and-response thing with their swearing.
McCain’s no longer the flagship pale bum. Here’s the butt of our jokes, Arizona.
There’s a new mirage in the desert: Hope for a successful season. But it’s just a mirage.
It’s warm, and definitely cleaner than Wrigley. @willenglishiv
How do you imagine Milton Bradley greeted his new Cubs teammates?
By monopolizing the conversation — that satisfies my Milton Bradley-board game joke quota for the year.
By embracing each one tightly and whispering “Don’t cross me.”
He kept it on the DL.
By talking softly but carrying a big stick. His bat, you sickos, his bat!
Distributed Transformers andMonopoly games to starting pitchers. @Chi_townDave
What would you suggest the Bears trade to get Anquan Boldin?
Nobody. The Bears can get a stud WR in the draft. Let Boldin poison another team.
A first-round draft pick to be injured later. (Can’t they just kidnap Larry Fitzgerald?)
A prized Midwestern cash cow. Lovie’s pretty good at passing the buck.
Devin Hester.
A pulled pork sandwich. @wildbill77
What did you do on your All-Star break?
Same thing I do during the NBA season: Watch college basketball.
I gave birth to 10 kids. Your move, Nadya Suleman.
Dinnertime. The perfect break between work and drunk.
I got my hands on this Lance Armstrong knockoff bike. It looks so real though.
Raised my Fisher-Price hoop from 4 feet to 6. I think I could push it to 7. @MichaelBDavis
What are you worth on the free-agent market?
More than Tracy, less than Tweeta.
I don’t like to put a price on it so much as an equivalent value in ranch dressing.
Milk money. Melanie Griffith was right. Prostitute with heart of gold = lots o’ gold.
I’ve heard people say they’d pay me good money to go away.
More than Manny. Oops … did I say that out loud? @AJRoxMyWhiteSox
