Judging by every Chicagoan’s Facebook status simultaneously updating last week, the Jay Cutler trade was a good thing. The common reaction was something like, “We finally have a quarterback for the first time in my life” or — like the YouTube kid that got Nintendo 64 for Christmas — they could only scream the word “CUTLER!” over and over.
I’m as excited as everyone else, if not more. I spent last season with a huge man-crush on Jay as he led my fantasy team to a championship (I refer to players on my team by their first name). I feel a bond with him like a family member (maybe I care too much about fantasy), so this was like a homecoming.
But in the aftermath of the trade, I couldn’t help but feeling like we were forgetting something. Then it dawned on me. We traded Kyle Orton.
This probably doesn’t seem like a big deal. For some reason, Orton was never given any credit in Chicago. Perhaps it was guilt-by-Rex-association, the neckbeard or the “Napoleon Dynamite” vibe he gave me. But all Orton did was go 21-12 as a starter, develop into a legit NFL quarterback while never complaining about playing time (and Rex is no Matt Cassel).
He wasn’t the most talented Bears player — hairiest maybe — but he’s the scrappy kind of player that I love (My favorite athlete ever: Chad Curtis. For real.) and the type of underdog that Chicagoans should’ve gravitated to.
I interviewed Orton at an Earth Day event he was MCing last year. He seemed like a nice guy, and when I asked him why he got involved, he said, “These are two things I really dig, music and the environment.” Digging music and the environment is something I look for in my quarterback, right after “strong, accurate arm.” Jay, you have big (and awkward) shoes to fill.
On behalf on Chicago, I want to do something we never did before.
Thanks, Kyle Orton, you didn’t really suck that much.
