Wiltin’ Milton
Chamberlon Clark chased us down on Twitter (@redeyesports) to get in today. See how you stack up at chicagonow.com/blogs/redeye/5on5/.
Jimmy Greenfield
Tracy Swartz
Supriya Doshi
Bag Boy
Chamberlon Clark
How can Milton Bradley tune out critical Cubs fans?
Stuff his ears with money.
He just needs a cheering aid. Sadly for Milton, it’s not a democracy, it’s a cheerocracy.
You’ve got it wrong. It’s us that should tune him out.
By tuning himself out of town.
By agreeing to go back to selling kids toys.
Why is A.J. Pierzynski one of the most hated players in baseball?
He, and he alone, was responsible for the Sept. 11 attacks.
Like Chuck Norris, A.J. hits home runs by roundhouse kicking the balls. Opponents hate that.
I hear he stole candy from a baby. Oh wait, no, that was Jimmy.
Just look at him. He’s got ‘tude oozing from him that makes you want to smack him. I love it.
Because he keeps backing out of the long-awaited cage match with Ozzie Guillen.
The Fire and Cubs play in town Saturday. What’s the more appealing game to attend?
Good Lord, it’s the Fire. I think I just went blind.
No contest until the Cubs are on Fire. Or all of them are Fired. Fire, Fire.
The Fire, obviously. Have you never seen a soccer player shirtless?
I can’t stand watching overpaid losers, so I’m going with the Fire. Underpaid winners.
The Cubs. It’s funnier when someone gets hit with a baseball (see “Super Troopers”).
Who is the Bears’ best pass-catcher?
The guy whose name I can’t pronounce. Greg Olsen.
Greg Olsen? Though if he focused on his tight end duties, I’d probably watch him more.
I think best is a strong word …
So far, it looks like Devin. Not Hester, but Aromashodu.
Greg Olsen. His background in rap gave him great rhythm.
Where would you take IndyCar driver Danica Patrick while she’s in town for Saturday’s race at Chicagoland?
For a lap dance, of course.
That Guy’s house. He could show her his tramp stamp collection.
Far, far away from Joliet.
The Dan Ryan at rush hour. Now there’s a real race.
The Wizard of Oz. I owe him a favor.
