Mouthing off in front of your teachers would never be condoned, but all goes out the window when we start talking sports. Wanna take part? E-mail us at themash@tribune.com.
THIS WEEK’S CHATTERHEADS
Graham Harboe, Francis W. Parker
Lee Pikelny, Lincoln Park
Deontae Moore, Urban Prep
Zach Aries, Walter Payton
MODERATOR: Why has Shaq taken up yoga as a hobby?
GRAHAM: So he can wear his yoga outfit.
LEE: Because he’s already done Shaq-Fu. Besides, later he can open a business and call it “The Yoga Shaq.”
DEONTAE: Shaq isn’t trying to get in shape. It’s obvious he just simply likes yoga because he getting soft around the edges.
ZACH: He’s trying to gain enough flexibility so he can touch his toes.
MODERATOR: Why would an NFL rookie invite MC Hammer to
his contract negotiations?
GRAHAM: So he could have live music to celebrate to.
LEE: To hammer down the deal sooner. Even I think that’s a bad pun, I’m sorry.
DEONTAE: MC Hammer is the reason why we manage our money wisely. If I were an NFL player, I would use him myself during a contract signing.
ZACH: Clearly Hammer is well-schooled in the area of finance. Oh, wait.
MODERATOR: If golf is going to be an Olympic sport, then
what else should be?
GRAHAM: Poker and dodgeball.
LEE: Painting. Whose paint will dry the fastest? Oh, the excitement! Wait, isn’t that the same basic concept as golf?
DEONTAE: If golf is making its way to the Olympics, why can’t Ultimate Frisbee be part of it? It’s a sport just like everything else.
ZACH: Nothing. No more Olympic sports. Some of the ones we have already are bad enough.
MODERATOR: If Michael Vick can get his own reality show on
BET, then …
GRAHAM: … he should be allowed a job with PETA.
LEE: … they should be sure to include “no animals were harmed in the making of this program.”
DEONTAE: … Beyonce can go into Disney. She is capable of attracting younger fans anyway.
ZACH: …. MC Hammer can get his own reality show on BET.
