Greg and Darcy Brumley aren’t going home for the holidays–they’re renovating it. And they’re hosting Greg’s family for a week. And they’re inviting friends over to spread some cheer. Oh, and did we mention Darcy is seven months pregnant with the couple’s first child?
The storm of activity is enough to make Greg, 29, joke that he would eat off of paper plates at Thanksgiving–next to the gaping hole torn into the wall of their dining room–if it meant he wouldn’t have to wash dishes. Sometimes “it doesn’t seem worth the hours upon hours of effort that need to go into creating a great holiday celebration,” he said.
As the holidays officially kick off next week, many of us will plan a season of flawless family feasts, thoughtful gift-giving and festive parties–only to be frustrated when time constraints, budget woes and personality conflicts interfere. But experts say it’s permissible–and even healthy–to cheat a little bit on tradition.
The Brumleys, who live in Lakeview, assure us they won’t resort to using paper plates, but they say they are more comfortable cutting corners in their second holiday season as a married couple. Greg is contemplating outsourcing the dishes to a cleaning service, and Darcy, 28, says she plans to preorder appetizers from a local grocery store instead of attempting “advanced samosas or puffed pastries of any kind.”
Paring down expectations that sometimes become unrealistic can make the holidays a lot merrier, advised Alison Miller, a Chicago-based life coach with Tiara Consulting.
“Envision the activities that will bring you the most joy and discard the rest,” she said.
So before your fantasy of a prefect holiday season devolves into a Clark W. Griswald-like meltdown check out these shortcut survival tips the experts shared with RedEye.
The unexpected gift
Scenario: It’s the night before your office closes for the holidays and a well-meaning co-worker gives you a present. The problem? You didn’t have him on your shopping list.
Solution: In case of a gift-giving disaster, call on your emergency supply of tact and poise.
How to fake it: Don’t even try faking it, etiquette guru Lizzie Post says.
Gift-giving is not necessarily a reciprocal act, so don’t beat yourself up too badly if your co-worker or friend springs a sneak-attack gift on you.
“The worst mistake you can make is to say something like, ‘Yours is in the mail’ or ‘I’m bringing gifts tomorrow’ or any other excuses that are fueled by guilt,” she said. “Make sure you take the time to appreciate the gift and thank them genuinely, because when you change the conversation to excuses, it takes the focus off the sweet thing that person has done.”
The big dinner party
Scenario: It’s your turn to host your nearest and dearest for a holiday dinner, and tradition dictates an elaborate event.
Solution: Holiday gatherings don’t have to be complicated to be festive, so downsize creatively.
How to fake it: Invite your friends over for all of their favorite warm winter beverages, including hot apple cider, mulled wine, hot chocolate or eggnog, suggests Sherry Petersik, a home and entertaining blogger at younghouselove.com. These more specialized gatherings have a much smaller price tag than traditional holiday dinner parties, she said, and your guests might even appreciate a low-key, no-pressure get-together.
“Offer inexpensive appetizers, such as biscotti or microwave popcorn on a tray surrounded by colorful ornaments,” Petersik said. “If you invite your friends over later in the evening, they will have already eaten and won’t expect a full meal.”
And if warm beverages aren’t their thing, try arranging a cookie swap get-together.
The outfit shortage
Scenario: You’re not going to buy new clothes for every holiday party. You need something fresh and festive that you can re-wear to several gatherings.
Solution: Recycle signature pieces to wear in different ways.
How to fake it: Sorry, ladies, but this problem is pretty gender-specific.
The good news is a neutral summer dress can be paired with leggings or a cardigan for colder weather, says Kristen Kaim, store manager at Akira, a Chicago-based boutique chain for men and women.
She notes that multifunctional dresses can be styled up to 10 different ways and can serve as stunning New Year’s Eve party dresses long after the season’s first glass of eggnog is poured.
Another way to take stress off your wallet while still reinventing the look of an outfit, Kaim says, is to invest in a unique belt for the holidays. By pairing an old sweater with a new belt, you can accomplish a completely different look.
The feeding frenzy
Scenario: You’ve already eaten your fill and now are faced with the temptation of yet another delicious buffet.
Solution: Just like your favorite “Top Chef” judges, “cheat” by trying just a little bit of everything to avoid gorging.
How to fake it: There is a simple strategy to avoid packing on a winter paunch, says Naperville dietitian Laura Thompson.
“Never go to a holiday party hungry,” she says. “Any time there’s free food or free drinks, you’ll eat more than you usually do, and eating before you arrive can help you have less of whatever’s there.”
Also keep in mind that although your cousin’s world-famous yule log-shaped cake may look tantalizing, you will have another opportunity to taste your holiday favorites.
“People will not stop making cookies or brownies; they’ll be there next year,” Thompson says.
The decoration frustration
Scenario: You want your home to capture the holiday spirit but don’t have the funds for a decoration shopping spree.
Solution: Utilize the unexpected — and the untraditional — as holiday home decorations.
How to fake it: Some of the best holiday decorations can be scrounged up from around your house, says Melisa Jiminez, owner of Printer’s Row-based floral shop Sweet Petals.
“I’d say about 95 percent of all women have some dried branches, river rocks or potpourri around their house,” she says.
Place a handful of stems in votives, clear shot glasses or other small containers to add punches of festive color around the house. Tie an old ribbon around the base, and you’ve just DIY-ed your way to lux holiday decorations on a Scrooge’s budget.
In fall, Petersik advises neutral, earthy material such as raw burlap for a table runner with a handful of pears or gourds on a cake stand for a centerpiece.
The mile-long mailing list
Scenario: Your holiday card list is growing, and you don’t have the time — or cash — to send so many season’s greetings.
Solution: Migrate your year-end well-wishes to the Web.
How to fake it: Post gives holiday e-cards the green light.
“Done right, it can look great,” says the great-great-granddaughter of the late Emily Post and author of “How Do You Work This Life Thing?” “If you mocked up a really cute card or used a design service, I think it’s totally OK to spread the cheer that way.”
And if the thought of eliminating your snail mail cards cold turkey is too much to fathom, try sending e-greetings to tech-savvy friends and relatives while sticking with traditional cards for your older family members. An added bonus: Your holiday footprint will be just a little bit greener.
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Side dishes in a snap
If you’d sooner starve than spend a day baking Thanksgiving dishes, remember this: There’s always the microwave.
Best-selling cookbook author Barbara Kafka just has a few choice words for anyone who might be tempted to nuke a turkey.
“God help them,” she said.
Though the award-winning author’s recipes do rely heavily on microwaves, you won’t hear her claiming that the gadget can do it all. Still, she is a staunch advocate of using the appliance to quickly tackle holiday side dishes.
“The ingredients cook very fast and don’t take up space in a conventional oven, leaving room for the bird,” she told RedEye.
Here are three recipes that Kafka adapted for RedEye from “Vegetable Love” and “Microwave Gourmet” that she suggests as holiday side dishes.
Bon appetit!
— ERIN M. SARRIS FOR REDEYE
Braised leeks with lemon
One of Kafka’s Thanksgiving favorites, this recipe’s name has a fancy ring to it but couldn’t be easier to prepare. Prepare in batches according to dish size. Serves 8.
Ingredients
1/2 cup olive oil
5 pounds leeks, trimmed to 6 to 7 inches and cleaned
10 cups commercial chicken or vegetable broth
1 lemon, sliced very thinly and seeded
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Directions
Place leeks in 2 layers in a large dish
Pour broth over leeks, placing lemon slices evenly over the top
Drizzle olive oil over the dish
Cover tightly with microwave plastic wrap
Prick plastic to release steam and cook at high power for 50 minutes
Season with salt and pepper, and serve hot or cold
Holiday sweet potatoes
This tried-and-true holiday starch can even be mashed, post-nuke, if you prefer.
Ingredients
1 one-pound sweet potato per person Salt and pepper
Butter
Your favorite spices
Directions
Wash potatoes well but don’t peel
Prick skin with tip of knife in two or three places
Cook on high for 5 minutes
Turn potatoes over from bottom to top, and cook another 5 to 8 minutes
Garnish with salt, pepper, butter and your favorite cooking seasonings
Cook one at a time for best results
Asparagus greens
A side dish so simple you don’t even have to add water. Serves 4.
Ingredients
2 pounds green or purple asparagus spears
Directions
tack spears two or three deep in a rectangular baking dish just large enough to hold them
Cover top of dish very tightly with plastic wrap
Cook on high for 7 minutes
Carefully uncover the dish as soon as it comes out of the microwave
If reheating later, place in a sieve and run under cold water to keep firm
