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“The time has come to think of other things,” says Frederica von Stade, slyly paraphrasing the Walrus in Lewis Carroll’s “Through the Looking Glass.” She is not, of course, thinking ships, sealing-wax, cabbages or kings. She’s thinking retirement.

After a packed 40-year career that made the great American mezzo-soprano one of the most beloved singers of her generation, von Stade is bidding a graceful adieu to the operatic and concert stage. Though she is still singing well, she is doing so now so that she can concentrate on the things that matter most to her at this point in her life: becoming a grandmother and furthering her efforts to bring classical music to disadvantaged youths.

Chicago will be a major stop on von Stade’s “farewell tour” that began with a Carnegie Hall recital in which the artist said goodbye to her New York fans.

Beginning next weekend at Chicago Opera Theater, the singer will re-create her starring role in Jake Heggie’s recent opera “Three Decembers,” a role the composer wrote expressly for her. On May 10, two nights after the work’s Chicago premiere, composer-pianist Heggie will accompany her in what is being billed as her final Chicago recital.

(Wait, there’s more: Von Stade, who will turn 65 on June 1, also is scheduled to perform the chambermaid Despina in Mozart’s “Cosi Fan Tutte” in August at Ravinia before blowing a last kiss to her admirers in Chicago.)

Revisiting one of her favorite American cities will be a great trip down memory lane, said von Stade recently by telephone from her Northern California home. “I feel very blessed to have had the years I did in Chicago.”

Although the Metropolitan Opera has been von Stade’s home base since her debut there in 1970, Lyric Opera of Chicago presented her in her most famous signature roles, Cherubino in Mozart’s “Marriage of Figaro” (her 1987 debut with the company, a cherishable portrayal she repeated in 1991) and Rosina in Rossini’s “Barber of Seville,” in 1990 and 1994.

Her warm and engaging presence also has graced numerous concerts and recitals in the Chicago area over the last several decades.

The singer everybody knows by her childhood nickname, Flicka, is that rarity in the operatic sphere: a genuinely nice person, smart, funny, perceptive, utterly devoid of diva affectations. In a world of backstage jealousies, nobody, but nobody, has anything unkind to say about her.

Indeed, von Stade’s very niceness has made her the butt of affectionate jokes within her circle.

At a luncheon the Metropolitan Opera Guild gave recently in her honor, soprano Evelyn Lear called her the Mother Teresa of opera, according to the New York Daily News’ Howard Kissel.

At the same tribute, baritone Thomas Hampson questioned her saintly image while noting that he and von Stade often have appeared together as operatic lovers. “Nothing has ever happened,” he observed. “Not that she hasn’t tried!” Nobody laughed louder than Flicka.

“She is a remarkable person on every level,” says Heggie, a close friend who has known and worked with the singer over the last 20 years. “In addition to her gorgeous voice, incredible phrasing and natural artistry, she’s one of the most connected musicians I’ve ever encountered, connected to who she is as a person and an artist. Not a false word or note ever comes out of her mouth; everything rings with meaning. That’s one of the things people really respond to when they hear her sing.”

Heggie, whose latest opera, an adaptation of Herman Melville’s “Moby-Dick,” opened on Friday in Dallas, is among a host of major American composers who have written operas and songs for von Stade. In fact, her own playful and poignant poetry serves as the basis for his song cycle “Paper Wings,” which includes tributes to her daughters Jenny Rebecca and Lisa, now grown women, each the apple of their mother’s eye. She will include the cycle on her Chicago recital program.

The major reason von Stade is retiring now, she explains, is so she can attend to the baby-sitting of Jenny Rebecca’s first child, whose arrival is expected any day, reports the grandma-to-be excitedly.

But before she can speed to the delivery room in Virginia, there are Chicago obligations to fulfill.

“Three Decembers” is the second opera Heggie has tailored to von Stade’s voice and artistry, the composer explains.

“We initially offered her the leading role of Sister Helen Prejean in my ‘Dead Man Walking,’ but she said, ‘No, Jake, you want a younger woman, a fresh and gifted young up-and-comer.’ That spoke volumes about the kind of person she is.”

Eventually, the part went to mezzo-soprano Susan Graham, and von Stade took the pivotal role of the condemned man’s mother. She soon became one of Graham’s most ardent boosters.

Von Stade’s name again came to mind a few years later when Heggie was mulling over the idea of turning an unpublished play by “Dead Man” librettist Terrence McNally into the opera that came to be known as “Three Decembers.” The central character is a glamorous Broadway actress, Madeline Mitchell, who must reveal the painful truth behind her husband’s suicide to her two estranged adult children, who have problems of their own.

Gene Scheer’s libretto yields a taut musical melodrama in one act, scored for an onstage ensemble of 11 players, to be conducted here by Steven Hargreaves. Heggie will be one of the pianists. Leonard Foglia, who directed the 2008 Houston Grand Opera premiere, will restage the work for COT. Von Stade’s co-stars will be soprano Sara Jakubiak and baritone Matthew Worth.

The mezzo says she fell in love with the role of Madeline the moment Heggie showed her the libretto. “Jake loves singing, so whatever he writes for the voice he does with the understanding that words will be easily understood. He will go through complicated harmonies before coming back to simple melody.”

The Chicago performances of “Three Decembers” will include a never-before-heard aria Heggie composed for von Stade after the show’s initial run. “It’s a kind of ‘Send In the Clowns’ number that gives a softer edge to this rather selfish, self-centered woman,” she explains.

The other reason she is tapering off her stage career, she says, is to involve herself more deeply in her pet project — music and arts education for poor and minority school kids.

For the past couple of years, von Stade has helped to launch children’s music programs at a Roman Catholic school in Oakland not far from her home. “We now have a middle-school choir and a dance program, and we bring in groups like Chanticleer to perform for the kids. I have the time of my life doing this, even though I myself don’t teach.”

The singer also helps raise funds for Berkeley’s Young Musicians Program, an educational initiative for young people ages 10 to 18 that places its graduates on full scholarship in colleges and universities across the country.

Von Stade carefully hedges her bets when asked if she really and truly is drawing a double bar on her performing career.

“Oh, I’m sure there will be a few return engagements here and there, especially the charity recitals I do with my younger colleagues,” she says, a smile in her voice. “If people ask me, I’m available! I will never

not

love to sing.”

A pause, then a gentle trill of laughter. “Gotta keep the strings attached, you know!”

Chicago Opera Theater’s “Three Decembers” runs Saturday to May 16 at the Harris Theater for Music and Dance, 205 E. Randolph St.; $30-$120. “An Evening With Frederica von Stade” takes place at 7:30 p.m. May 10 at the Harris Theater; $25-$80, $200 VIP package. 312-704-8414, chicagooperatheater.org

jvonrhein@tribune.com