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The holidays are insane. You try to cram a year’s worth of good cheer into mere days. Relatives visit, the kids want something to do, and all you’ve been thinking about is making your list and checking it twice. Who doesn’t envy the denizens of Whoville, who had entertainment right by the house, as they joined hands and sang “Welcome Christmas”?

Fear not, because On the Town is here to help, with entertainment in your ‘hood. To be sure, there are big, giant things going on, but what you want is low stress and a short drive, something happening right near you that, while it might not be the best and the brightest, is certainly the closest.

In the spirit of the season and blessed proximity, we bring you a list. From north, south, east (downtown, not Atlantis) and west, you can indeed stay home for the holidays … or at least holiday entertainment.

Get busy (or not) on Page 5.