Too hot, too hot
Too hot to think
Too hot, so hot
I need a drink.
.
A drink with ice
To dry my sweat
Just standing still
I’m sopping wet.
.
Too hot, too hot
Too hot to work
(A great excuse
To nap and shirk.)
.
I’ll tell the boss
I’m off today
(Although it is
Too hot to play.)
.
Too hot to nap
Too hot to eat
Too hot to dress
Too hot to tweet.
.
It’s hot too early
Hot too late
So many hot hot
Things to hate:
.
That sticky feel
Behind the knees
That icky dirty
Ozone breeze.
.
The stinky sweat
Upon your feet
The clammy ring
Left on your seat.
.
Your frizzy hair
Your soggy bed
The coming outage
From ComEd.
.
It’s hotter here
Than Phoenix dirt
It’s hotter than
Ms. Monroe’s skirt.
.
It’s Southern hot
Oh no, it’s worse
At least the South
Expects this curse.
.
It’s Houston hot!
Miami heat!
It’s hotter than
On Bourbon Street!
.
So hot Chicago’s
Like a bog
It’s muggy, buggy
Dense with fog.
.
Too hot too hot
To tell a joke
How hot is that?
Like I said, it is just too hot to think of a good “it’s so hot” joke.
.
So hot that
Blago’s hair might wilt
But not so hot
He’ll melt with guilt.
.
So very very
Very hot
So hot you smell
The mold and rot.
.
So hot it chafes
Your inner legs
So hot that chickens
Lay fried eggs.
.
So hot the air
Could bake a peach
Too hot to lie
Out at the beach.
.
Too hot to play
A game of ball
So hot you fondly
Dream of fall.
.
So hot you even
Miss the snow
Oh, where’d the bliss
Of blizzards go?
.
Too hot to walk
Too hot to bike
Too hot to jog
Too hot to hike
.
But as we swelter
Whine and moan
Let’s not forget:
This heat’s on loan.
.
As fast as we
Can say July
The summer will
Have said goodbye.
