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1. What should Mike Quade’s next move be?
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Georgia Garvey: Well, it will involve a U-Haul, GPS and an address out of state. |
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Alex Quigley: The Cardinals have an opening! |
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Phil Thompson: Quade, Quade, he likes to party, he won’t cause trouble, he won’t bother nobody … |
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Jimmy Greenfield: Celebrate having won $2 million in the lottery and go back to being a fine coach. |
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Bag Boy: Retirement. |
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Georgia Garvey: Apparently, the words “Boston Red Sox” somewhere on his resume. |
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Alex Quigley: Dead serious: it probably should be me. |
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Phil Thompson: Tracy, because all that’s missing is a good pun-maker: “Garza wants how much? Pitch, please!” |
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Jimmy Greenfield: Must have unquenchable thirst for Theo Epstein-flavored Kool-Aid. |
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Bag Boy: A winning pedigree. |
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Georgia Garvey: … then I demand a coaching position for Ronnie Woo-Woo as well. |
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Alex Quigley: … it really doesn’t matter, Cubs fans. |
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Phil Thompson: … and Ryno helps them win the World Series, Theo will be fed to the Leos. |
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Jimmy Greenfield: They won’t. But if they do, it’s a win-win. Happy if Cards fail, happy for Ryno if they win. |
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Bag Boy: … the nightmare scenario plays out. It writes itself. |
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Georgia Garvey: Knocked out five of his teeth so he and Duncan Keith can bond at the dentist. |
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Alex Quigley: They beat him like a redheaded step-defenseman. |
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Phil Thompson: (Thinks to self: Don’t say “with soup,” it¿s lame.) Um … with soup? |
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Jimmy Greenfield: With a team-signed card that reads, “Thank you! Our (salary) CAPs are off to you!” |
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Bag Boy: By saying, “Hey Brian! the guy we traded you for has been a regular scratch.” |
5. A linebacker knocking down a clarinet player is like …
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Georgia Garvey: … the description of the key play in a Packers-Colts game. |
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Alex Quigley: … a linebacker knocking down the Devon Avenue sign on the outbound Edens. |
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Phil Thompson: … Bag Boy’s life in a nutshell. |
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Jimmy Greenfield: … a real college football team playing Northern Illinois. FYI, most were women, too. |
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Bag Boy: … disgraceful. Unacceptable. What? NIU won 63-60? Don’t worry about it! Go Huskies! |
