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Leo Ebersole: Fed up with it all, the Red Line will volunteer to shut itself down early. |
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Ernest Wilkins: Some great human being will bless your boy with tickets … right? RIGHT? |
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Sarah Spain: I predict that both teams will be embarrassed by their moron fans. |
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Elliott Serrano: The series will fall in the woods and won’t make a sound. |
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Marc Silverman: The grass will be greener at U.S. Cellular Field … literally. |
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Leo Ebersole: Discount admission for anyone wearing a polo shirt over another polo shirt? |
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Ernest Wilkins: Put together a competitive team so Cubs fans WANT to show up? |
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Sarah Spain: Shake their hands and thank them for giving the Cubs organization their hard-earned cash. |
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Elliott Serrano: Do like the Oklahoma City Thunder and dress everyone in home team T-shirts. |
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Marc Silverman: Have Theo build an ark. |
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Leo Ebersole: … traffic in Oklahoma City will be a nightmare, with as many as eight automobiles downtown. |
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Ernest Wilkins: … then I’m going to be very happy. (And worried, as a Bulls fan.) |
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Sarah Spain: … TV stations in the greater Seattle area might black out NBA games for a decade or so. |
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Elliott Serrano: … the city of Miami will riot. |
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Marc Silverman: … it’ll be a Thunderstorm. |
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Leo Ebersole: … LeBron will be validated as the league’s best player and can take a break from any kind of mass communication. |
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Ernest Wilkins: … blah. Oh wait! To the girl at SAMF who puked only to have the wind … |
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Sarah Spain: … LeBron will still be seven titles from his “not five, not six, not seven …” proclamation. Keep at it, kid. |
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Elliott Serrano: … see No. 3. |
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Marc Silverman: … it’ll be a [bleep]storm (rhymes with “quit”). |
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Leo Ebersole: I’m sure the fact they have $53 million committed to three players next season had nothing to do with it. |
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Ernest Wilkins: … blow it back in her face? I hope you made it out OK. Yikes. |
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Sarah Spain: “I wouldn’t touch that Knicks organization with a 10-foot pole.” |
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Elliott Serrano: They tried courting him and spilled wine on him during the first date. |
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Marc Silverman: One bad fire extinguisher ruins it for the bunch. |
