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Tracy Swartz: A Dank–>You note. |
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Julie DiCaro: For people to stop calling him “John.” |
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Soxman: Gyros, baklava and kinish from the Greek God of Walks (who’s actually Jewish). |
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Ernest Wilkins: A carpetburger from The Gallows. Look it up. |
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Brad Zibung: I don’t know. A medal of valor? |
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Tracy Swartz: Performance-enhancing drugs and 50 go hand in hand. |
| Julie DiCaro: He liked to flex and hung around with Victor Conte. Shocker. |
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Soxman: Well, I guess no one will be flipping the Byrd in a trade anytime soon. |
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Ernest Wilkins: Does he know that they’re supposed to make him better? No? Moving on then. |
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Brad Zibung: Whoever said MLB’s steroid testing only nailed nobodies must be eating crow. |
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Tracy Swartz: Either “The Spider” or the OctoMom. I love the eight-ies. |
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Julie DiCaro: Audrey Hepburn. |
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Soxman: Carly Rae Jepsen after he blew off her request to “Call Me Maybe.” |
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Ernest Wilkins: Me, to Brad. He knows what he did. |
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Brad Zibung: I would guess a UFC fighter, but they’re all such peaceful human beings that that can’t be right. |
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Tracy Swartz: “At your age, you’re overdue for a trophy wife.” |
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Julie DiCaro: “How big IS that headband?” |
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Soxman: “Michael Jordan hugged me five times better.” |
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Ernest Wilkins: “As long as he keeps me away from Bosh and his champagne facials, I’m good.” |
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Brad Zibung: “I’m an inanimate, soulless object and have no thoughts. Just like this guy in the huge headband hugging me.” |
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Tracy Swartz: Bring Jo Noah because, you know, I just won the lottery. |
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Julie DiCaro: Stay home and watch baseball. |
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Soxman: Have a Stern conversation with the commish about the quality of NBA Finals officiating. |
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Ernest Wilkins: Wear a suit that fits me. That’s it and that’s all. |
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Brad Zibung: Refuse to get picked by the Bobcats. Even I have standards. |
