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Tracy Swartz: The Cubs. I’m sorry, did you say, “the second laugh of the baseball season”? |
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Julie DiCaro: The Cubs will continue to be not very good at baseball. |
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Soxman: Hype overtakes the Cubs as they change their team name to the Wrigleyville Rizzos. |
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Ernest Wilkins: Sox go on a tear and wrap up the AL Central by Labor Day. Boomshakalaka! |
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Brad Zibung: Despite hitting .000, Bud Selig will make more money than Alejandro De Aza and Anthony Rizzo combined. |
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Tracy Swartz: Duck, duck, juice. |
| Julie DiCaro: Two words: sumo wrestling. |
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Soxman: Prince Fielder vs. Pablo Sandoval in a Nathan’s hot dog eat-off. All beef! |
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Ernest Wilkins: Hell in a Cell, duh. That’s how I picked my last apartment. |
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Brad Zibung: By doing the opposite of whatever MLB wants to do. |
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Tracy Swartz: … unbearable without Pooh. |
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Julie DiCaro: … a Chicago basketball team without Derrick Rose. Not very much fun. |
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Soxman: … the 2012 All-Star game without A.J. Pierzynski. |
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Ernest Wilkins: … me at a Sox game without a beer. Fun, yes, but it’s just not RIGHT. |
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Brad Zibung: … the Bulls without Derrick Rose, except Team USA will probably still win. |
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Tracy Swartz: Superman is faster than a speeding bullet. He can’t be caught by Nets. |
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Julie DiCaro: I heard he smells like a foot. |
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Soxman: Because the self-proclaimed Superman thinks anywhere other than Metropolis is kryptonite. |
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Ernest Wilkins: $$$. Those weird arm sleeve things don’t grow on trees, you know. |
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Brad Zibung: Because even in the NBA he seems like kind of a high-maintenance jerk, which is saying a lot. |
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Tracy Swartz: It was A-Rodical decision. |
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Julie DiCaro: He ate a bunch of wings and wiped his hands all over Steinbrenner. |
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Soxman: The “Reggie Bar” occurred because the Yankees already are packed with nuts. |
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Ernest Wilkins: Did he not sing “Rock Me Tonight” or something? Wait, that’s FREDDIE Jackson. |
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Brad Zibung: Please see above but replace “in the NBA” with “on the Yankees.” |
