Ghosts and goblins aren’t the only frightening creatures this time of year. Even scarier prospects may be hiding in your home, waiting to be revealed below your toilet, just beyond your drain or even right under your deck.
These home projects may be scary, but they need to be done to maintain your house, said veteran remodeling contractor and media personality Danny Lipford.
But Lipford can treat you to an easy way to get these homeowner horrors done with just a few tricks.
The crawl space
Why it’s so scary: There are many things that can be hiding under there, from snakes, to mice, to raccoons, to … razors. “More than one time when I’ve been under, crawling around there, I’ve put my arm through a rusty pile of hundreds of rusty old razor blades directly under the house,” Lipford said. Older homes used to have medicine cabinets that had spaces for razor blade disposals inside the wall cavity — close to the sink. Over time, leaks would cause the wall to rot, which made the blades rust and fall to the ground below in the crawl space.
Trick: Use a small rake and dustpan to collect any unknowns before getting down and dirty in the crawl space, Lipford said. To prevent animals from getting in there, seal the perimeter of the house around the vent, latticework and through the under skirting. “You don’t want anything under the house, because the critters are looking for a warm place to hang out,” Lipford said. Seal voids with something that can’t be gnawed at, such as brick, blocks, anything masonry, or expandable foam. Moisture is also a major problem for these areas. “If you have a porch and water drips down and gets under the house, it becomes a dark, wet environment, which is perfect for roaches,” Lipford said, explaining that he’s seen entire walls of roaches at times. He suggested using a concrete repair caulk to seal where the wall meets the porch.
Clogged drain
Why it’s so scary: “You have no idea what is washing out of your head and other places,” Lipford said. When you remove the P-trap, you’ll find two washers or nuts under there, which may be plastic or metal. Once you release those, a U-shaped pipe will drop down. “That’s usually where you’ll find an accumulation of hair, and a gel-like substance that’s a result of debris that accumulates in a sink or shower,” Lipford said. “It’s usually pretty bad looking, and sometimes it has an odor.”
Trick: Having the right tools will make this much simpler. Use a P-trap brush, which you can find at any hardware store, Lipford said. Put it down the drain like a scrub brush, and it will attract the debris. Soak the piece that you removed in hot water with cleaner before returning it to the drain.
The toilet
Why it’s so scary: Under a toilet, there’s a piece called the wax wing, which has waste, mold and mildew mixed into it, and this remains there until the toilet is removed. If you’re replacing a floor in your bathroom, then the toilet has to go, and you’re going to have to deal with this horror.
Trick: Start with some heavy-duty surgical latex gloves, Lipford said. It’s fairly easy to remove — and to replace — the toilet, and if you have the gloves, then it won’t be a big deal. The toilet is mounted to the toilet flange, and the wax ring is on the toilet flange. When you remove a toilet, you have to scrape the old toilet wax ring off. “This grosses everyone out, and it’s something that people never see,” Lipford said. It’s about 6 to 7 inches round, and it’s usually black due to the waste running into it, combined with the mold and the mildew. “It comes off easily, but you have to scrape all of it off so the new wax ring will sit well,” he said. The biggest deal is not knowing what to expect, but if you know that it’s coming and that it’ll be gone within minutes, it’s not so bad.
Greasy kitchen cabinets
Why it’s so scary: When you start cleaning the cabinets above your oven, you realize that they’re dirtier than you could have ever imagined. You don’t want to ruin the finish on your cabinets — but the grease typically is gummy with a yellow color to it, once you start rubbing, Lipford said.
Trick: Dampen a new sponge and microwave it for 20 seconds. Using heavy-duty rubber gloves, take the sponge out and use a citrus cleaner like orange Glow, and you’ll be able to melt the grease off and revitalize the wood on stained or painted cabinets.
The gutters
Why it’s so scary: After the leaves and straw get into the gutters, mix with water and start to decompose, it’s not pleasant, even with gloves.
Trick: An empty antifreeze bottle is the perfect shape to fit into the gutters after it’s been repurposed. “Take a knife and craft out a gutter scoop,” Lipford said. Cut off the bottom, and craft it into something that looks like the scooper for ice or for popcorn. “You’re getting into the gutters without actually reaching into the gutters, and it makes cleaning the gutters much easier,” Lipford said.
Danielle Braff is a freelance writer.
