Question: Am I going to die alone if I don’t go to bars or parties? – via Reddit
THREE ANSWERS
SADE CARPENTER
Chicago Tribune editorial assistant | Single, 30
Author Demetria Lucas D’Oyley suggests what she calls a “cutie run” for meeting love interests: “It’s the same way you meet people at networking events. I’ve just applied it to dating. … When you see someone you find attractive or who looks interesting, you smile, say hello and pay a compliment (about literally anything) or ask a question.”
You don’t have to go to bars or parties for your “cutie run,” but you do have to go somewhere. You can meet a potential mate anywhere—at a museum, library, music festival, etc.—and if you’re doing an activity you enjoy, the chances of meeting someone with similar interests improve. If you’re shy and uncomfortable initiating conversation, make sure your vibe is open and approachable so your future mate will make the first move.
Sade | @SadeMichelle
Courtney Jacquin
I joke with my boyfriend that had we not met each other in college, we would both be screwed because we hate going to parties and bars. Like, really hate them. The good news for you, though, is that we live in Chicago and there are SO many ways to meet people. Take an improv class, go on group runs, take a cooking class, join a kickball team, whatever tickles your fancy. The people you meet—significant others or just friends—will probably be better suited for you anyway because you already share a common interest that’s not just getting drunk. That being said, every once in a while force yourself out of your comfort zone and make it to a party or a bar. You might surprise yourself and have a good time and hell, even meet someone.
Courtney | @courtneyjacquin
Isaac Paul
Absolutely not. However, you will never enjoy the thrill of waiting in a long line with hopes you aren’t denied entry from the door gods, nor will you learn the appropriate protocol when mixing liquor with beer.
Truth be told, clubs as a fad are starting to decline, and if by “parties” you are referring to overcrowded gatherings accompanied by kegs and frat-boy behavior, trust you aren’t missing much there. Those atmospheres are geared more toward extroverts who enjoy the energy of that atmosphere.
The awesome thing about life is that we are all different and there is someone for everyone. So I suggest that your “hunting ground” be the areas that you enjoy the most. Strong relationships are generally maintained when people share mutual interests. Keep in mind that while parties and clubs aren’t necessary, no one is going to arrive at your front door. You’ll have to leave the house.
—Isaac | @thetequilatales
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