The students file into the classroom. The teacher announces a vocabulary drill. The students groan. But they`ve done their homework:
”What word describes a relationship that`s more than a one-night stand but usually less than a yearlong commitment?”
”Linkage!”
”What word describes a new partner who`s `very special` but not yet
`linkage` material?”
”Blandiri!”
”What word describes a committed relationship that is more than a linkage and more like a marriage?”
”Lockage!”
Students need only one textbook for this hypothetical class: S. Richard Sauber`s ”It`s All in the Name: A Language Guide for the Single, His Friends and Her Family” (Frederick Fell, $6.95).
Sauber has come up with a vocabulary for singles who can`t find the exact words to describe the significant others in their lives. Relationships have become more complicated, but our romantic vocabulary hasn`t kept up-until now. After all, most adults feel a little childish, says Sauber, using the terms ”boyfriend” and ”girlfriend.” Those words were appropriate in exchanging class rings, but not in making introductions at the company`s Christmas party. The term ”lover” is awkward because it implies sex without commitment.
So Sauber, 43, a psychologist in Boca Raton, Fla., devised a vocabulary to help singles describe, in a word, the exact nature of their relationships. He drew from a variety of sources, Latin and his own imagination included, to fill his guide.
How to refer to the children of the man with whom you are in LINKAGE?
They`re LINKETTES, and they can call you REGI, from the Latin word for
”queen.”
BLANDIRI, the word for a mate you`re not quite linked with, derives from the Latin word for caress.
MATALOT and MATALA are a man and woman past casual dating but who don`t have the ”emotional bond” of a BLANDIRI.
And no more questions from married friends or from your parents about whether you are serious about the new man in your life. Describe the relationship as a LOCKAGE, and they`ll know exactly where the romance is headed. That`s the idea.
Then again, they might ask what the heck a LOCKAGE is, and whether you need a key to get out.
Sauber says he hopes the terms will catch on. People might poke fun at them at first. That`s what people did to ”yuppie,” he says. Look what happened.
