Well, I`ll be darned. The ducks are for real.
Last year during Elvis Week in Memphis, I was staying out at the Airport Hilton. The Airport Hilton shows Elvis videotapes in its lobby bar all day and night during Elvis Week, so I was sitting there watching the tapes when some Elvis groupie, I think her name was Mary, came up and told me about the ducks. Specifically, she said, ”You really ought to be staying downtown at the Peabody. They have these ducks that parade through the lobby every morning, and then parade back into the elevator in the evening.”
This Mary person was clearly quite intoxicated-I myself was nursing my usual vegetable juice, with a side of milk-so I summoned the FBI to take her away, and returned my attentions to the tape of the `68 Elvis Comeback Special on the big screen. Before she was led off to the electric chair, this Mary person kept bothering me with those old rumors about Elvis taking out a gun and shooting out the screens of TV sets that were featuring shows he did not like. (It was easier than changing the channel.)
As I say, that was last year. This year during Elvis Week I did, indeed, stay downtown at the Peabody. And the ducks, it turns out, are real as can be. The Peabody is a Southern landmark, one of the legendary hotels in this area of the country. Now, I have stayed at a number of nice hotels in the South. But I have never seen anything like the Peabody ducks.
At 11 a.m. each day, large crowds form in the Peabody lobby. By
”large,” I mean at least several hundred people. They jostle to get close to a specific elevator door.
A 50-foot carpet is rolled out, extending from the elevator to a beautiful marble fountain in the middle of the lobby.
And then-to the strains of John Philip Sousa`s ”King Cotton March,”
which is piped over the hotel`s public address system-these five ducks parade out of the elevator and stride in precise formation to the fountain. The ducks climb a short flight of stairs, plop into the fountain itself and proceed to swim around in the fountain all day. The crowd cheers and applauds; flashcubes illuminate the room. Security guards keep the crowd from grabbing at the parading ducks. Everything else in the hotel stops.
I don`t mean to cuss, but it`s the damndest thing I`ve ever seen.
Here are a few facts about the ducks:
A man named Edward D. Pembroke, 79, is a full-time employee of the Peabody; his title is ”trainer and chaperone of the ducks,” and he has held this position for almost 50 years-since 1940. Spiffily attired in red, Mr. Pembroke calls for the ducks each morning at their rooftop penthouse.
Might as well explain the penthouse.
The ducks` penthouse-officially referred to as the Royal Duck Palace-was designed by Memphis artist Elinor Conrad Hawkins, who also did all of the hotel`s gorgeous murals. The Royal Duck Palace-12 feet wide, 12 1/2 feet tall and 24 feet long-is on the rooftop of the Peabody. Six banners and two ”duck flags” fly high atop the Royal Duck Palace. The floor surface of the Royal Duck Palace was originally planned to be made of concrete. But Edward D. Pembroke, ever mindful of his ducks, took a firm stand. He said that ducks`
feet are sensitive to concrete. So the floor of the Royal Duck Palace is now covered with indoor/outdoor carpeting.
There is a Royal Bed Chamber inside the Royal Duck Palace-topped by a golden crown, from which spread purple drapes.
So each morning Mr. Pembroke calls for the ducks, and shepherds them through the happy throng in the lobby of the Peabody. I cannot overestimate to you the enthusiasm of those crowds. I couldn`t get close to the ducks because of the other spectators. Finally I had to go up to the mezzanine level and look down on the ceremony-if I had stayed in the lobby, I wouldn`t have been able to see anything.
The ducks swim around in the marble fountain until 5 p.m. each day, at which point Mr. Pembroke returns, the crowds form again, the ”King Cotton March” is played again, the ducks waddle down the steps from the fountain, the cheers erupt, the flashcubes pop, and the ducks parade back into the elevator en route to the roof. There are seldom any incidents, although during my stay at the Peabody last week the national convention of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity was also at the hotel, and some of the college boys climbed into the lobby fountain at night-after the ducks were already safely asleep on the roof. The fraternity lads were taken from the fountain with a minimum of trouble.
The weirdest thing happened, though. When I saw the ducks in the lobby, I thought they were just about the cutest little things on Earth.
But up in my hotel room, the TV set featured one of those channels devoted to a continually running videotape promoting the activities and highlights of the hotel.
And maybe it was just because it was Elvis Week-in retrospect, of course it was because it was Elvis Week-but when those same cute little ducks appeared on my TV set, I had this overwhelming urge to shoot out the screen.
