Walking down the street is tricky business.
You want to walk briskly, purposefully, to keep those at bay who might approach a less determined gait. Still, you don`t want to look as though you expect a reprimand for tardiness upon every arrival.
So you try to find a pace that fuses business with independence, one that says, ”I know where I`m going, and I plan to be punctual (if it suits me), but if I see some nice blooming freesia, I`ll pause for a tender whiff (if I want to).”
At least that`s what I do when I walk down a street.
We women are ever conscious of our stride. From the time we are little girls venturing out on the sidewalk for the first time, we are taught: ”Don`t sashay down the street like you`re doing the hula.” (What will the boys think?) ”Don`t dillydally.” (Remember what happened to Little Red Riding Hood.) ”Don`t look at strangers.” (We all know about strangers.)
These thoughts occurred to me on a recent midmorning promenade downtown. I wasn`t on my way anywhere and was in no particular hurry.
So, my training notwithstanding, I ambled. I let my gaze wander. And what to my wandering eyes should appear, but the Unemployed Single Mother with 2-Year-Old Child on her Hip.
I am no cynic. I carry a blanket in the car trunk, for example, in case a small animal needs emergency transportation.
But on this day I felt the dark cloud of cynicism descend. No sooner did our eyes meet than I knew. Making a last-ditch effort to look purposeful, I raised my eyes to the horizon.
She closed in, and, without looking at me exactly, started talking:
”Excuse me lady, but I was wondering: Could you spare a little? Things are pretty bad.”
There was no way to ignore her. I turned, listened, felt bad, felt suckered, felt bad for feeling suckered.
As I handed over one of my $5 bills, I couldn`t help thinking: ”If only I had walked a little faster, if only I hadn`t made eye contact.”
But then I thought, ”Oh, well, $5 is pretty cheap for a downtown amble with no particular worries and a breeze that slips around buildings like a whisper.”
All things considered, it was money well spent.
As I got in my car to drive away, I looked back at the woman. I`m pretty sure I saw her nod at a man padding slowly along the sidewalk across the street. I`m pretty sure he nodded back. Then they both turned and walked toward the same street corner, briskly, purposefully, as if to keep at bay those who might otherwise approach.
