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”We created the first anti-drug cartel.”

-President Bush, after last week`s drug summit with the presidents of Peru, Colombia and Bolivia.

”As they say in the United States, where is the beef?”

-Peruvian President Alan Garcia, saying the U.S. did not come up with enough economic development aid to offset the loss of drug money in Peru.

”Since my service days, I haven`t dropped my pants on command.”

-Nobel Prize-winning author Saul Bellow, explaining why he did not respond to an Esquire survey of ”The Sexual Habits of the American Writer.”