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Somehow I can`t relate to this. The White House has issued a report requesting $500,000 in the operating budget in fiscal 1991 for kitchen renovations.

It seems that along with a few basic equipment upgrades, the White House kitchen needs to add some counter space. Some? Is the chef talking an indoor track? Is he pleading for a couple of feet or is he talking mileage? Of course he wants more counter space. Do you know anybody who doesn`t?

Maybe the chef should clean off the junk-in-residence on the counters. Maybe he should juggle the important stuff that belongs on the counters but is in the wrong place. Maybe he should just re-organize his kitchen.

He has some sorting out to do, but it brings up a point. If you think about it, most folks haven`t a clue about how to set up a kitchen; they don`t really think about organizing their kitchen to work efficiently. They move in and unpack at random; then they wonder why cooking is such a chore.

Setting up a kitchen is not an exercise for an interior decorator. Think of a kitchen as a laboratory with specific work stations. Its purpose is to help the cook turn out food and meals in the most efficient way. If the kitchen is organized with that in mind, you make work easy on yourself and when it is easy, cooking can be fun.

Trust me. Better yet, trust yourself.

How to set it up

Pretend you are just moving into your home. Before you put a single thing in a drawer, before so much as a water glass is set down, go through this exercise. Stand smack in the middle of the kitchen within striking distance of range and sink. Now slowly swing your arms in a sweeping arc-up, down around, front and back. Anything stored out of that reach is unlikely to be used or sought.

Anything within that space determines your prime kitchen real estate, your downtown, where the action is. The counter within that area is your Fifth Avenue, the main stretch. Nothing will live here that isn`t of prime importance and frequent use.

Now pretend you are going to make a big breakfast for four people. Let`s say the menu will be western omelets, toast, bacon, juice and coffee with cream and sugar.

By the time you have walked through this exercise of cooking a meal thoughtfully, using a wide variety of techniques and equipment, you will have mentally reached for, dealt with and cleaned up a fair sample of appliances, food and dishes without ever touching a box. This is a good trick whether you live alone or plan to entertain lavishly. Only then should you begin to unpack boxes and put things away.

But back to the exercise.

You might make coffee everyday. Decide where to put the coffee. The pot could be near an electrical outlet, near the sink, near the stove. Decide where the filters will go.

Now think of the toast and where to keep the bread. The cutting/

breadboard has to be within reach and it better be near the sink, because you`ll want to brush away crumbs easily. The cutting board can stand against the backsplash or if you drill a hole and thread it with a leather thong, the board can be hung on the wall and be taken down as needed.

Pretend to cut up the vegetables for the omelet. Again, you see that the board has to be right there. The knife can be in a knife rack. A magnetic one mounted on the wall keeps knives up out of the way. The toaster can be on the counter, but probably back in a corner.

Next, think about the omelets. Get out the pretend eggs. You have to break them into a bowl, so where should the bowls go. Probably under the counter. Break the eggs and work near the sink so the shells can be pitched into the disposal. Think now, this area just to the right and just to the left of the sink is critical. Nothing, absolutely nothing, should live there that isn`t used every day.

OK, now to the cooking. Where will the skillet be? Probably in the stove drawer or in a cupboard next to the range. If you are lucky, there`s head room for a pot rack.

Put the most used cooking tools in a ceramic pot or kitchen vase. Wooden spoons, tongs, stirrers and spatulas must be instantly accessible. This relieves the search for the right tool. You won`t have to open a drawer and thrash through it with sauces sticking while the search goes on.

Also keep the most used condiments and spices on a small tray right next to the range. My tray has olive oil, vinegar, pepper mill and a tea can. I keep salt in an 8-ounce glass with a plastic lid. There`s nothing worse than measuring salt into a spoon from an unwieldy box.

Some guidelines

What you want to do is go through all the motions using an economy of movement and an abundance of efficiency. As each equipment and dish position is determined, you`ll see that similar things will be stored there.

Here are more rules of thumb:

– Notice where the dining table or counter is in relation to the dishwasher or sink. The dishes should go within arm`s reach of the dishwasher. – Flatware goes in a drawer nearby.

– A landing pad must be right beside the refrigerator as a place to set things headed in and out of the refrigerator.

– Place plastic wrap and foil in the drawer just underneath that counter. What stuff and how much of it goes into drawers and cupboards?

Everyday things and average numbers get priority. Look at the eye-level shelf of the cabinets. Please, this isn`t a warehouse.

Say you have dish service for 12. That`s nice, but keep only service for six in the kitchen, the other six can go into a china closet, perhaps. Keep six or so drinking glasses on this shelf, and the same with juice glasses. Remember, this is not the ark, all like things do not have to live together.

Instead of stacking dishes, get a dish separator and stand plates upright. Breakage is less and plates are easier to get out. Upright plates cancel the Murphy`s Law that states you always will want the one on the bottom. I stack cookie trays and roast pans, too, and I can stand 20 upright in a 16-inch cabinet.

One of the biggest sins people make is to give cupboards a cathedral ceiling treatment with itsy-bitsy short items on the shelf and all that space going to waste above. I hang tea cups on cup hooks inside the cupboards and coffee mugs go under the dish cabinets above the counter.

I like frequently used items at grab level. Pegboard can line any wall and don`t forget the wall on the cellar steps.

Back to the counters. Try for the longest stretch of counter available. Put there only-repeat, only-the items that will be used. Place canisters of flour and sugar where you will bake.

The food processor needs to be close to the chopping board and near the sink. If it`s there, you might use it every day and buy yourself all kinds of time saved. I know a woman who complains she never uses her food processor. Well, of course not, since she keeps it in the cupboard on the top shelf.

Keep cookbooks on a bookshelf, not the counter. Come on, when was the last time you cracked ”Joy of Cooking”?

Storing spices in racks will drive anybody nuts. Those tiny, cutesy 12-bottle racks should be collected and burned. One solution is to mount a rack on the back of a door. It will need to be dusted, and it might not be pretty, but at least when your recipe calls for coriander, you`ll find it.

And everybody needs a junk drawer, probably the most important drawer in the kitchen. Just keep it out of the main real estate.

I wonder if that budget in the White House allowed for a junk drawer. At those prices, it must be a beaut.