”I have one stock answer for those people who criticize my high cholesterol intake. I always say, `If you look and feel as well as I do when you`re 75, give me a call.` ”-Former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop, after a breakfast of sausage, bacon and eggs.
”We can use a computer screen to show them what their mouth would look like if we turned the teeth white. It would look like they had a line of Chiclets around their jaw.”-A Chicago dentist, on why teeth should be lightened but not whitened.
WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY MARLIN FITZWATER`S CAMPAIGN ADVICE TO THE PRESS:
”If you haven`t washed your socks, do it now, because we aren`t going to be home for a long time.”
”I`ve been very kind and gentle. I`ll still be kind, and I`m now debating how gentle to be.”-President Bush, campaigning in Nashville on how he`ll handle challenger Patrick Buchanan.
”We`re going to take our party back from those who have forgotten about us and walked away from us. And when we take our party back, we`ll take our country back.”-Republican challenger Patrick Buchanan.
”I proved at least one thing: I can take a punch.-Bill Clinton, after coming in a respectable second in the New Hampshire primary.
”Our values are not for sale.”-A Boy Scouts of America official, rejecting pressure from the United Way to end discrimination against homosexuals.
”The question is, why are we doing this kind of operation now? The Cold War is supposed to be over.”-A retired Navy captain and submariner, on the collision between a U.S. and Russian sub.
”It`s like putting out a red flag and saying, `Hey, there`s not going to be any police around.` ”-Chicago Ald. Carole Bialczak on a plan to end the practice of having a police officer on duty at each city precinct on Election Day.
”Remove the shackles. Fling open the door of his cell. If he has a destiny, let him fulfill it.”-Tribune columnist Mike Royko, suggesting the Cubs ”free Ryne Sandberg” so he can play in a World Series.
”I thought it was in New Mexico.”-A San Jose tax auditor who grew up in Memphis, on his reaction when he first heard the song ”Do You Know the Way to San Jose?” (P.S.-San Jose is in California.)
”It isn`t that Americans won`t extend a hand, it is just that it is usually shaped like a fist.”-Tribune columnist Bernie Lincicome on the U.S. hockey team.
