It`s ironic, isn`t it? The generation that turned rebeling against parents into an art form is now losing sleep over where Mom and Dad are going to live when they can`t live on their own anymore.
Actually, the anxiety probably is much more focused: Will they be coming to live with me?
Demographers and those who work with the elderly say that in most cases, the answer is no. The number of elderly living with relatives has been dropping over the last decade, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
”More parents don`t want to be dependent on their children, and they`re looking for affordable housing that`s within a community and geared to seniors,” says Adriaan Vrutt, vice president for housing for the Bensenville- based Lifelink, a not-for-profit social service corporation.
But moving in with the kids hasn`t vanished entirely as an option. According to a recent survey by the American Association of Retired Persons, 11 percent of homeowners 65 or older said they`ve moved in with a family member, usually an adult child. An additional 17 percent of the respondents said they would consider such a move.
Something for everyone
So, what`s the ideal kind of home for such a living situation?
The answer varies, depending on how mobile the elderly person is and where you`re looking, but one thing`s for sure: If you think it`s hard to find a house for yourself, it can be even harder to find one that can accommodate your family and an aging parent-even when you`re in the home-buying business. Sal Faso, a broker with Century 21 Stanmeyer Realtors on Chicago`s North Side, has been looking for a month and a half in the Bloomingdale area for a house that will accommodate his wife (who is pregnant), a young daughter and both of his in-laws, who are in their early 60s and disabled with diabetes and arthritis. Right now, they all live in the same condominium development.
Faso says he`s looking for something with completely separate living quarters for the parents-including their own kitchen. ”My mother-in-law loves to cook,” he says.
The sticking point: It all has to be on one above-ground level. ”My wife doesn`t want her folks living in the basement,” he says. His target price:
around $200,000.
He`d probably be out of luck in the Naperville-Hinsdale area, says Virginia Reardon, a broker for Prudential Preferred Properties in Downers Grove. Two listings that came close to fitting the bill in her market area were selling for more than $300,000, she says. Most of what`s available in a lower price range has the extra living quarters in the basement.
”One of the brokers just went on a listing presentation where someone fixed up the basement nicely (for an elderly parent),” Reardon says. ”But that`s not acceptable for most people.”
A lengthy process
Alice Jennett, a broker for Maguire and Associates in the city`s South Shore neighborhood, did find the right house at the right price for one of her clients, but only after looking for more than eight months. The house was a ranch in the Beverly neighborhood that sold for $130,000.
”The bedroom was big enough for a sitting space and it had its own bath,” Jennett says. ”It also had a side driveway so she could drive her mother, who had arthritis, right up to the door.”
In cases where the parent can still manage stairs, Jennett says she`ll show a client a ”mother-in-law special,” a type of housing that was built throughout the city after World War II up until the mid-`40s. Homes with ”in- laws,” as they`re often advertised, have a separate apartment with bathroom and cooking facilities in what would otherwise be the attic or basement. Unlike a two-flat, there usually is no separate entrance.
”Sometimes the heat isn`t even separate,” says Jennett. ”They`re not fancy houses, but they do accommodate two families.” (”In-law” apartments are not zoned for rental use, should the prospective buyer be looking for an income source in the future).
The asking price: usually $55,000 to $75,000 on the South Side, depending on the location and degree of modernization.
Rooms of one`s own
Providing elderly parents with some privacy within your home may not come easily, but it`s essential for their well-being, says Elsie Pinkston, a professor at the University of Chicago`s School of Social Service
Administration who specializes in issues concerning the elderly in families.
Grown children may worry about parents becoming isolated as they grow older, but with the infirmities of age, which can range from minor ailments to incontinence problems, older parents ”may not want to be on display all the time,” says Pinkston.
Because old age can affect appetite and eating schedules, Pinkston says that having a private space for meals is also important. An elderly parent may not want to eat every meal with his or her family, so it`s a good idea to outfit the living quarters so the parent can make a cup of tea or a simple dish.
But what if you and an elderly relative are already ensconced in your home? For Linda Doll of Downers Grove, remodeling was the answer.
”I had friends who lived in a vicarage in England, and when the mother needed to move in with them, they weren`t allowed to put on an addition,”
Doll says. ”So they just set up a trailer in back.”
2 rooms and a bath
Doll`s addition to her home worked out almost as well, she says: a one-level area that had a sitting room with a microwave-equipped ”wet bar”
(zoning regulations wouldn`t allow her to put in a full kitchen), a bedroom and a bathroom with an extra-large shower with support bar. Her mother, Muriel, helped pay for the addition with the profits from the sale of her own home in Massachusetts.
Having a second room in addition to the bedroom was important for her mother`s privacy and comfort. ”I wanted her to have a change of scenery,”
Doll says.
Doll`s mother lived in the wing for four years, until she became too ill to live at home and moved into a nursing facility. Now Doll uses the space as guest quarters-and has the satisfaction of knowing that she has also increased the value of her home.
”I got the impression that it would have more of an impact on the value than if we had just enlarged a bathroom, for example,” she says.
If remodeling is in your plans, keep in mind that a parent`s mobility and health will decline, says contractor Sam Cicero. His Woodridge-based company, Cicero`s Development Corp., specializes in renovation work for the elderly in both private homes and nursing facilities.
”Think about how much assistance they need now-and how much they`ll need in the future,” says Cicero. ”You can`t just remodel for today.”
Blending in
He says it`s also important to think about how any adaptation will affect the value of the home. While you may end up with the ideal geriatric environment, a prospective buyer down the line may be put off by a home that looks too institutional.
For example, if you need to widen doors to accommodate walkers or wheelchairs, Cicero says to make sure that the remodeling blends in with the proportions of the rest of the room. If a lower sink is called for, he says, often a conventional pedestal sink will fit the bill-and fit in better with a future owner`s decorating plans.
Here are some other tips from Cicero and Steve Lome, whose Chicago firm Designs for Change also specializes in accessibility for the elderly and disabled.
– Assess your carpeting. Area rugs and carpeting on stairways may trip an elderly person.
– If you need to install support bars along walls, always reinforce the walls first. As a person gets older, he or she will probably put more and more weight onto the bar for help, Cicero says.
– If you are remodeling or adding on a bathroom, walk-in showers with seating are the best choice. If you must adapt an existing bathroom, however, Lome says portable equipment such as tub benches are readily available.
– Evaluate the lighting in your parent`s living quarters. ”Older people require more light to read,” says Lome.
– If your parent will be using stairs, install handrails on both sides, and make sure the floor finish isn`t slippery. In older homes, Cicero sometimes recommends that the narrow back stairway be closed off.
Keep in mind that your parent may insist that you not go to all the bother. ”Many older people are of the generation that`s used to doing without,” Lome says.
But it isn`t disrespectful to insist, says Cicero. ”I call them the declining years because everything goes downhill. You want to help people keep their dignity for as long as they can.”
The American Association of Retired Persons publishes ”Your Home, Your Choice,” a free workbook designed to help the elderly and their families explore housing options. For a copy, write the AARP, Fulfillment, 601 E. Street N.W., Washington, D.C. 20049.
