Dear Ann Landers: Last year you printed my letter about panic attacks. I am thrilled to tell you that I have improved enormously.
I became educated about the illness and decided to talk about it with the people who were closest to me. To my amazement, I discovered that several family members and friends also suffered from panic attacks.
I joined a support group and attribute much of my success to talking with people who have conquered the problem. One of my principal comforts is re-reading the Golden Rules for Coping With Panic. Of all the material I have read, this is the most reassuring and helpful. It is not an exaggeration to say these rules saved my life. Here they are:
Panic Attack Recoverer, Little Rock, Ark.
Golden Rules for Coping With Panic
(1) Remember that although your feelings and symptoms are frightening, they are neither dangerous nor harmful.
(2) Understand that what you are experiencing is merely an exaggeration of your normal reactions to stress.
(3) Do not fight your feelings or try to wish them away. The more willing you are to face them, the less intense they will become.
(4) Don`t add to your panic by thinking about what ”might happen.” If you find yourself asking, ”What if?” tell yourself, ”So what!”
(5) Stay in the present. Be aware of what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.
(6) Label your fear level from zero to 10 and watch it go up and down. Notice that it doesn`t stay at a very high level for more than a few seconds. (7) When you find yourself thinking about fear, change your ”what if”
thinking. Focus on and perform some simple, manageable task.
(8) Notice that when you stop thinking frightening thoughts your anxiety fades.
(9) When fear comes, accept it, don`t fight it. Wait and give it time to pass. Don`t try to escape from it.
(10) Be proud of the progress you`ve made. Think about how good you will feel when the anxiety has passed and you are in total control and at peace.
Dear Ark.: I`m sure you`ve helped many people today. Thank you.
The bigger she gets, the less he likes it
Dear Ann Landers: While my wife and I were dating, we got along fine. After six months, I moved in. We lived together for two years and got along well. Then I let her talk me into getting married.
The trouble started when she quit her job. Her clothes got tighter and tighter. Then she began to make excuses when I wanted to get romantic. Before marriage, she was an eager participant. Now she just lies there like a gunnysack while I do all the work. That`s right-now it`s work. By the time I get her motor started, I`ve lost interest in the trip.
Two years have passed. My wife has gone from a size 10 to a 24. Her favorite three words are ”Let`s eat out.” I`ve tried everything to get ”Big Edna” interested in taking off some weight. Nothing works. Her idiot doctor says her metabolism has slowed down, which is to be expected at her age (40). Any advice?
Dizzgusted
Dear Dizz: You and your wife need joint counseling. A lot of couples continue to have loving sexual relationships even when one partner is overweight. Find out what the real problem is and hopefully ”Big Edna” will work with you on trying to fix it.
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Feeling pressured to have sex? How well-informed are you? Write for Ann Landers` booklet ”Sex and the Teen-ager.” Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $3.65 (this includes postage and handling) to: Teens, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, Ill. 60611-0562.
