In the recent article, “Discipline or child abuse,” you raised the question “Where does physical discipline end and child abuse begin?” As a parent and social worker, allow me to offer some common-sense guidelines.
Generally, as parents, we want to balance nurture and structure (to love and set limits). Accordingly, I advise parents who believe in physical discipline to use some basic principles.
1. Reserve spanking only for severe misbehavior-any technique loses its influence from overuse. 2. Spank a child only on the buttocks-your wish is to get their attention, not cause injury. 3. Never hit a child on the head-it can cause permanent brain damage. 4. Always use your bare hands-using a belt prevents you from knowing how hard you’re hitting. 5. Limit the spanks to one per year of age-this will help you stay aware of your child’s maturity level.
Finally, if the child is bloody or bruised, you’ve gone too far-get help now!
