Dear Ann Landers: A mother wrote to tell you that some of her children’s friends had been kicked out of their homes. When you said those kids and their families should seek counseling, you were right on the mark. As a retired probation officer, may I suggest that you might also have addressed another point?
Children who have been on the run and are living on the streets can come up with some very convincing stories. A teenager who tells you that his or her parents were cruel and their home life was terrible may in fact be a truant, beyond parental control. When you take in such a youngster without the knowledge or consent of his parent or guardian, you may not only be contributing to that child’s delinquency but also be violating the law.
A runaway or street youth is often the subject of an outstanding warrant or a missing person’s report. A family that wishes to help should first contact the child’s school, the local social welfare agency or the police.
Situations are not always what they seem. Too many families believe they can solve the problem by simply taking the child in for a few days or weeks. In the vast majority of cases, they can’t, and they end up doing more harm than good.
J.S.
Dear J.S.: While your advice may be good for the long haul, I fail to see how it would be harmful to take in a kid for a day or two and give him or her a clean bed, some home-cooked food and a little good advice.
I agree, however, that the police should be notified, since runaways could also be in trouble with the law, and, by housing them, a person could get in trouble too. The next letter supports your position. Keep reading.
Dear Ann Landers: Before you condemn parents who have kicked out their teenagers, you’d be wise to get the whole story. When my daughter was in her early teens, she ran away from home in a fit of anger. I learned almost immediately that she had been taken in by the family of one of her schoolmates.
When I called to thank them for giving her a place to stay until she cooled down, I encountered a level of hostility you would not believe. She had told them I ordered her out of the house and wouldn’t let her come back. Fortunately, they believed me when I told them she had not been truthful. I then wondered how many others she had fed the same line.
Ann, I’m signing my name, but please don’t use it. My daughter and I have finally become friends, and I’d like to keep it that way.
Acworth, Ga.
Dear Ac: Your point-check out a runaway’s story before you condemn the parents-is a good one. Thank you for adding some balance to the picture.
Dear Ann Landers: May we address the problem of the “starving” photographer? Your readers deserve to hear both sides.
We are paying $80 a plate for our reception of 120 people. We are also going to employ, besides the photographer, a deejay and his helper, a minister, a videographer and a few others. As you can see, this adds up. We’re not the kind to point out a problem without offering a solution. Here it is. Dear Photographer: Take $10 out of your $1,000 profit and pack a lunch!
Tampa
Dear Tampa: I received several letters from readers who shared your view, but most of them had language that was unprintable. Thanks for one I could use.
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Want to improve your social skills? Write for Ann Landers’ booklet “How to Make Friends and Stop Being Lonely.” Send a long, self-addressed envelope and a check or money order for $4.15 to: Friends, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, Ill. 60611-0562.
