How many of us look in the mirror and only notice the negative aspects of our bodies? Far too many, say experts who consider people’s distorted view of their bodies a major roadblock to developing good diet and exercise habits.
“Research shows 75 percent of American women think they are fat,” said Jane R. Hirschmann, a New York psychotherapist and co-author of “When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Freeing Yourself From Food and Weight Obsession” , Fawcett Columbine, $22.50). “Growing up as young girls we learn what’s most important is how we look, not what we know or who we are. We end up trying harder to shape our bodies rather than our lives.”
Such dissatisfaction can lead to impatience in remedying it. As women and an increasing number of men berate themselves for being overweight or flabby, they push themselves too hard, too quickly for immediate results in an exercise program. Or they decide the only way to a trimmer waistline is a deprivation diet. In either case the body punishment soon causes them to abandon their intention to get in shape.
Feeling better about yourself is a major step to making lifelong changes in diet and exercise.
“You also have to be realistic,” said Susanne D’Amico, a Chicago nutritionist. “You can’t achieve a look that doesn’t fit your genetic background. That’s simply a setup for failure.”
Some people will never be as thin as fashion models, D’Amico said, no matter what they don’t eat and how much they exercise. Same goes for someone with a smaller frame who wants to look like a professional football player.
It’s not just overweight people who are dissatisfied. D’Amico hears self-disparaging remarks from physically fit clients who are bodybuilders and runners. They react by working out even more, which can lead to injury and fatigue.”They never seem quite happy” she said.
Hirschmann attributes such personal unrest to “bad body thoughts.”
“A bad body thought is never about your body,” said Hirschmann, who has founded several Centers for Overcoming Overeating in U.S. cities including Chicago. “You are taking in code, making a detour about whatever is bothering you in the world.”
Hirschmann offered an example from a recent workshop: A woman had been fretting earlier in the day about her stomach sticking out. Hirschmann won- dered what she was doing immediately before the thought. Seems the woman had just confronted a friend about an uncomfortable issue in their relationship. Hirschmann reasoned the woman felt she was “sticking out by speaking out” and her stomach was the symbolic target of her uneasiness with such talk.
While some might characterize Hirschmann’s views as extreme, there’s no quibbling with her basic health advice.
“You need to start living in your body and not always be caught up in its renovation,” she said. “Self-hate won’t be effective in exercising more or eating better. Compassion for yourself is what can change lives.
“Commit to not punishing your body when you exercise. Do what movements make you feel good, like a dance class or 3-mile walk in the park. Approach exercise from joy rather than obligation.
“Don’t run away from forbidden foods. That only makes them more appealing. But learn to eat when your stomach is hungry, not when you are anxious or it is a certain time of day. Match the food to what your body is craving and eat only until you are full.”
