`Cruise Control” was the headline of an old magazine article about, you guessed it, megastar control freak Tom Cruise.
So it was probably a bit of wishful thinking to put those words in the title of the all-wet “Speed 2: Cruise Control” (PG-13). Smilin’ Tom doesn’t even have a cameo; Sandra Bullock and Jason Patric are as big as its stars get.
This sequel may appeal to a few computer fanatics because the slick villain (Willem Dafoe) attempts to take cyber-control of a luxury liner. It also may placate those who go ape for even the most cliched views of the Caribbean.
Otherwise, it’s hard to imagine the movie making much of a splash with audiences of any age. It treads water at a slow rate for its first half, and when it finally gears into action mode, most of the danger shots are predictable. The rating is for frequent use of phrases common to those in panic.
“Anaconda” (PG-13) — An old-time monster movie with a 40-foot special-effects snake. Older kids will relish this eye-popping frightfest, but the snake’s mode of killing — it crushes hapless victims, including the good guys and a young woman, in its coils — is strong stuff for a small fry.
“Anna Karenina” (PG-13) — There’s but one brief sex scene, but the themes in this tragic love story are all adult, coming as they do from Leo Tolstoy’s novel about a Russian wife in the 1880s who falls into a disastrous affair.
“Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” (PG-13) — Mike Myers’ new comedy features extended routines about almost every bodily function but vomiting, so in theory it could have been worse. And given the hero is a swinging ’60s playboy unfrozen in the prim-and-proper ’90s, the wink-wink sex quotient is abundant, to say the least.
“Buddy” (PG) — A must-see for kids and a should-see for anyone who loves animals. It tells the story of eccentric New York socialite Trudy Lintz (Rene Russo) who turns her mansion into a mini-zoo and grows particularly devoted to a sickly young gorilla, Buddy. The tale is mostly upbeat, although some scenes of animals in crisis could upset tots.
“Con Air” (R) — Con Air is the division of the U.S. Marshal’s Service that transports criminals by air for medical emergencies, transfers, etc. When new parolee Cameron Poe (Nicolas Cage) takes a Con Air plane home for a reunion with his wife and daughter, he finds himself among hardened federal prisoners (John Malkovich, Ving Rhames) who mastermind a skyjacking of the plane. The witty script is full of clever one-liners, incredible special effects and great characters. But the movie may offend many because of its crude dialogue, violence and hard-core characters.
“Dante’s Peak” (PG-13) — Special-effects specialists give us the state of the art in flowing lava, avalanches, a town destroyed by an earthquake, fires, a helicopter crash, and other calamities that may be too much for younger children. Besides the intense action, though, there’s a decent story line.
“The Empire Strikes Back” (PG) — The most exciting and imaginative entry of the “Star Wars” trilogy. Unless parents object to a few dark overtones or the faux Zen of Jedi master/Muppet Yoda, this is one to show the kids for posterity.
“Fathers’ Day” (PG-13) — Predictable, heavy-handed comedy about two strangers (Robin Williams and Billy Crystal) duped into searching for a runaway teen whom each thinks may be his son. The rating is for language, drugs, toilet humor and sexual innuendo.
“The Fifth Element” (PG-13) — Imagination-starved kids should eat this one up like an ice cream sundae. Some of the material is designed for teens more than tots, especially a bizarre sexual encounter and co-star Milla Jovovich’s skimpy wardrobe. The language is generally clean, the violence standard-issue comic book and the pace brisk.
“Gone Fishin’ ” (PG) — From the “Home Alone” school of clean violence and Joe Pesci comes this lame-brained seafaring comedy. It’s a positive depiction of friendship, and Pesci and Danny Glover stay away from sex and bad language. Now if it weren’t for those explosions. . .
“Jungle 2 Jungle” (PG) — Tim Allen stars in this remake of the recent French bomb “Little Indian, Big City,” but he displays none of the charm of his previous film work (“The Santa Clause” and “Toy Story”) or his hit TV series, “Home Improvement.” In “Jungle,” Allen brings the 13-year-old son he never knew he had from a South American jungle village to New York.
“Liar Liar” (PG-13) — A very funny comedy, despite its predictable plot. Jim Carrey plays a successful attorney who neglects his 5-year-old son and can’t stop inventing excuses for any mishap. The movie contains plenty of sexual innuendo, a non-graphic bedroom scene and a bathroom joke.
“The Lost World: Jurassic Park” (PG-13) — The Steven Spielberg sequel boasts creatures more varied in shape, size and agility than its predecessor. The interaction between leaping lizards and frightened humans is more frequent and intense than before. But be aware: The deaths come in lots of bone-crunching formats.
“McHale’s Navy” (PG) — TV remake is Hollywood’s idea of good, clean family fun: lots of gunfights, plenty of high-speed chases and, of course, tons of really cool explosions.
“Return of the Jedi” (PG) — Full of cackling, huggable critters and mind-bending visual effects, the third “Star Wars” installment all but begs for youth approval. “Jedi” does have bits of cartoon violence, and tots might wonder why Princess Leia is wearing a metal bikini.
“Rough Magic” (PG-13) — The philosophy behind the magical realism in this noir chase thriller will go over most kids’ heads. And while they might actually be the only ones who will enjoy the talking dogs and the woman laying the egg, it’s not likely they’ll stick with this poor effort.
“The Saint” (PG-13) — This imitation James Bond-implausible “Mission: Impossible”-type thriller, both complicated and leaden, pits superspy Simon Templar (Val Kilmer) against a billionaire who has precipitated an energy crisis during a bitter Moscow winter. Relatively mild violence and some sexuality.
“The Second Jungle Book: Mowgli and Baloo” (PG) — This live-action “prequel” is supposed to be based on Rudyard Kipling’s magic tales, but it’s really a broad adventure-comedy about four guys trying to catch a boy raised by wild animals. Kids will enjoy monkeyshines and stunts. Brief language, mild violence and child-in-jeopardy scenes.
“Selena” (PG) — This biopic on the Tejana legend is guaranteed to please her legions of teenage fans. With no sex or nudity and generally pleasant language, about the only thing parents have to fret over are those tastefully skimpy outfits.
“Shiloh” (PG) — Kids and parents will agree on this tender tale, based on the Newbery Award-winning book. The boy and dog are cute, and the moral about figuring out what’s right is wonderfully told.
“Shine” (PG-13) — This often-mesmerizing tale of a troubled piano prodigy contains some non-sexual nudity and addresses prickly issues of family trauma and mental illness. Still, its uplifting message should win over parents who are willing to answer a few questions.
“The Sixth Man” (PG-13) — College basketball star Antoine Tyler (Kadeem Hardison) is about to realize his dream of making it to the NCAA championships when he dies of heart failure. Language, crude dialogue and jokes, adult issues about the grieving process, death.
“Star Wars” (PG) — Believe it or not, the spiffed-up “special edition” lives up to its inescapable hype. Sure, the acting is cheesy, the commercialism is overwhelming, and many of the effects are no longer state of the art. But the adventure still enthralls, and the lessons of the Force are timeless.
“That Darn Cat” (PG) — This remake of the 1965 Disney movie has a definite ’90s touch, but its story of a lovable cat and a teenager tangled up in a kidnapping is plenty safe for the family.
“That Old Feeling” (PG-13) — Comedy follows the shenanigans of a formerly married couple reuniting at their daughter’s wedding. Lots of sexual innuendo and some language.
” ‘Til There Was You” (PG-13) — The acting is bad and the script even worse in this lame film. Jeanne Tripplehorn can’t handle comedy, and Dylan McDermott is simply boring. Kids might get a kick out of Sarah Jessica Parker, but that’s about all.
“Trial and Error” (PG-13) — See Jeff Daniels vomit! See Michael Richards stumble! There’s nothing very offensive here, but there’s nothing very good about it either. There’s a nifty be-true-to-yourself moral to be had if you can last long enough.
“Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie” (PG) — Given the Rangers’ preschool power base, you have to wonder why this movie contains PG-provoking content. Of course, kung-fu combat and fiery explosions are required elements. But what about the bosomy villainess, bursting from her space-pirate’s corset?
“Volcano” (PG-13) — The most sensational fireworks show this side of the 4th of July. There’s some language, plentiful explosions, some gooey but not overly gross deaths and many gloriously photographed fires. The personal drama deals with the relationship between emergency chief Tommy Lee Jones and his 13-year-old, who’s really burned that Dad and Mom have split up.
“Warriors of Virtue” (PG) — This live-action fairy tale follows a young boy who falls into a magical world and joins a band of talking kung-fu kangaroos in their fight with an evil warlord. There’s some occasionally peppery language, but in an era when “scary” has come to mean gore and violence, Warriors’ villain is scary in the old-fashioned, evil-queen-in-Sleeping-Beauty way.
