Game 11
– We have seen the future, and it’s as bad as the present.
– For a barometer of just how badly the Bears played, there’s this: They lost to a team quarterbacked by Neil O’Donnell for almost three quarters.
– Which explains why the Bears’ defense looked so good in the second half.
– Steve Stenstrom’s best play was getting roughed by cornerback Jerome Henderson.
– Receiver Chris Penn has to go away unless he can explain what game he’s playing.
– I know he caught a touchdown pass, but Penn still looked like he returned from his concussion thinking he was Venus de Milo.
– Just guessing that Penn won’t be writing a book titled “Just Throw Me the Damn Ball.”
– Same goes for Bears safety John Mangum.
– Oh, so that’s what Darnell Autry looks like as a starting NFL tailback. Never mind.
– Just asking: Can the Bears go to Running Backs R Us and see what they have in titanium or graphite?
– But still, what was the offensive line’s excuse?
– The Bears’ defense was solid, even figuring in that it faced O’Donnell instead of an actual NFL quarterback.
– Todd Sauerbrun suffered a concussion. No comment.
– Quick learner, that John Allred. See how fast he’s picked up veteran tight end Keith Jennings’ ability to commit a false start?
– By the way, at what point do the Bears start throwing to Allred? And when does he start getting open?
– Long-lost tailback Michael Hicks threw a nasty block on 6-5, 285-pound Jets defensive end Rick Lyle, allowing Kramer to hit Jennings for 23 yards, which would’ve been a big play if, say, Jeff Jaeger could hit a 33-yard field goal.
– Tyrone Hughes is English for Jaime Navarro.
– Good thing Tyrone Williams lined up in the neutral zone. Otherwise, I never would’ve known he was a Bear.
A take-charge woman
Karim Abdul-Jabbar, the Miami running back who’s being sued by the other Kareem in a silly name-calling lawsuit, used to work at a Los Angeles park district during the summer.
And his boss was Violet Palmer, one of two female NBA referees and the one who needed about 10 seconds to have a run-in with Dennis Rodman.
Said Abdul-Jabbar’s mother, Ava Shah: “Nobody messed with Violet, not even grown men.”
Well, Rodman has rarely been acccused of being a grown man.
Moving time?
Here’s why old friend Jim Cleamons ought to worry about his days as coach in Dallas: Garry St. Jean signed a five-year, $5 million contract to be general manager of Golden State, reports the Dallas Morning News. But St. Jean, a longtime friend of Dallas GM Don Nelson, can break the deal at any time to become a head coach.
The buzz
The Phillies offered shortstop Kevin Stocker for Cubs center-fielder Doug Glanville.
No relief
Word leaked out that the New York Mets protected reliever Mel Rojas.
Wonder if the Mets thought they were protected from Mel Rojas.
Quotable
The Dallas Mavericks’ Michael Finley, after Shaquille O’Neal lit up Mavericks center Shawn Bradley for 37 points and 12 rebounds: “Sometimes you’re the Louisville Slugger, and sometimes you’re the ball.”
