Giving new meaning to the term “clutch player.”
BARREN BEARS
The Bears did not have a single player make the Pro Bowl team, the fourth straight year the team has been shut out.
Bryan Cox claimed earlier this year that he would make the team, but apparently the OCL position–Overpaid Clown Linebacker–already was filled.
PRIME TIME CRIME
The only other NFC team without a Pro Bowl player is the St. Louis Rams, who face the Bears Sunday night on national television.
Pray for technical difficulties.
BIG OWWIE
We know Jerry Krause and the Bulls never–ever–would pull any kind of monkey business with the injured list. But isn’t it an amazing coincidence Rusty LaRue hurt his toe in practice on Tuesday, the same exact day Steve Kerr was set to be reactivated?
Krause never would admit this either, but we hear that at the precise moment Kerr was pronounced healthy, Dickey Simpkins felt a nostalgic twinge in one of his hamstrings.
SORRY CHARLIE
Doug Drabek, a member of the White Sox starting rotation last season, skipped town and signed with the Baltimore Orioles.
Guess he didn’t hear about our big Charlie O’Brien signing.
NO THANKS
A Puerto Rico magistrate issued a restraining order against former Red Sox outfielder Wil Cordero on Thursday after he allegedly made threatening remarks to his wife. Last June, Cordero pleaded guilty in Massachusetts to spousal abuse, and this latest episode could constitute a violation of his probation.
The Cubs, who had expressed some interest in Cordero, have cooled on him. So, for now, they will continue to be the only local pro franchise not to import a famously troubled free agent.
The North Siders always have been kind of slow to pick up on trends–you know, night baseball, electronic scoreboards, winning more than one championship every 90 years–but this is one time you actually have to be glad about it.
