EVERYBODY READS THEM. Everybody who goes to the theater, at least.
Waiting for the curtain, you thumb through that ever-cordial, often glossy, sometimes gushy magazine called The Program. Not long after the title page and cast list–and how boring are they?–you stumble onto that friendly, black-and-white gallery that is a reminiscent of a high-school yearbook.
Here the actors, employed, after all, to play people they are not, tell of who they really are, of their lives offstage. Photographically, they’re presented without disguise–as real as expensive studio headshots will permit.
Steven Pine, managing editor of Stagebill, which services many of the theaters in the Chicago area, estimates his staff assembles some 10,000 of these mini-autobios every year. And that doesn’t include the dozens of other, non-Stagebill theaters that provide program info on plain pages run off at a nearby Kinko’s.
Most of the bios are straightforward, informative, and utterly predictable. But, they tell us a little something about ourselves as well as our actors, revealing social trends and style changes over the years. Religious expression has become much more prevalent (consider the “Rent” program), and sexual orientation is proudly proclaimed in thank-yous to same-sex partners.
“Younger actors more frequently thank parents,” Pine notes. “But then, they’re often still surviving courtesy of their parents beneficence. The religious undertones have definitely increased. A cynical view might be that acting is such an insecure lifestyle, you may need faith more, or at least need to be more out there about it.”
In what is by no means a scientific sampling, we assembled some unusual and inventive bios we’ve noticed.
Here they are, along with one managing director’s actual memo sent to cast members trying to goad them into a little restraint and creativity.
A TALE OF TWO EGOS
DUSTIN HOFFMAN (Willy Loman). Plays: 1958-Gertrude Stein’s “Yes Is for a Very Young Man,” at Sarah Lawrence College; 1959-played Spit in Sidney Kingsley’s “Dead End,” directed by Nola Chilton, at Equity Library Theatre; 1961-Broadway debut as Ridzinski in Steven Gether’s “A Cook for Mr. General,” directed by Fielder Cook and David Pressman; 1962-63-worked for one season under David Wheeler at Theatre Company of Boston; 1964-assistant director and stage manager for Arthur Miller’s “A View from the Bridge,” directed by Ulu Grosbard, off-Broadway; 1965-Immanule in Ronald Ribman’s “Harry, Noon and Night,” directed by George Morrison, American Place Theatre; 1966-understudy to Walter McGinn, Frank Gilroy’s “The Subject Was Roses,” directed by Ulu Grosbard, Broadway; Zoditch in Ronald Ribman’s “Journey of the Fifth Horse,” directed by Larry Arrick, American Place Theatre (Obie Award, best actor); “Fragments,” three one-act plays by Murray Schisgal, directed by Marty Fried, Berkshire Theatre Festival; 1967-Valentine in Henry Livings’ “Eh?,” directed by Alan Arkin, Circle in the Square (Drama Desk, Theatre World, Vernon Rice, Obie Awards); 1968-title role in Murray Schisgal’s “Jimmy Shine,” directed by Donald Driver, Broadway; 1974-directed Murray Schisgal’s “All Over Town,” starring Cleavon Little, Broadway; Bernard on 1964 recording of “Death of a Salesman,” directed by Ulu Grosbard, with Lee J. Cobb and Mildred Dunnock. Films: 1967-“The Tiger Makes Out,” Arthur Hiller, director; “Madigan’s Millions,” Stanley Prager; “The Graduate,” Mike Nichols; 1969-“Midnight Cowboy,” John Schlesinger; “John and Mary,” Peter Yates; 1970-“Little Big Man,” Arthur Penn; 1971-“Who Is Harry Kellerman…?,” Ulu Grosbard; “Straw Dogs,” Sam Peckinpah; 1973-“Alfredo, Alfredo,” Pietro Germi; 1974-“Papillon,” Franklin Schaffner; “Lenny,” Bob Fosse; 1976-“All the President’s Men,” Alan Pakula; “Marathon Man,” John Schlesinger; 1978-“Straight Time,” Ulu Grosbard; 1979-“Agatha,” Michael Apted; “Kramer vs. Kramer,” Robert Benton; 1982-“Tootsie,” Sydney Pollack.
JOHN MALKOVICH (Biff) is an actor and director with Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theatre. He last appeared in New York in “True West,” off-Broadway, at the Cherry Lane Theatre.
Both of the preceding bios are from the 1984 production of “Death of a Salesman” at the Blackstone Theatre.
FICTION IS FUNNIER THAN TRUTH
JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS (Various roles) Julia grew up in abject poverty in Sri Lanka. She has lived in abject poverty in some of the most beautiful cities in the world: Paris, Rome, Honolulu, Westchester N.Y. and Puerta Vallarta, Mexico. The daughter of a U.S. President and a U.S. Vice President, she learned to speak English from her Uncle: Pope John XI.
From the Practical Theater Company’s “Golden 50th Anniversary Jubilee”in 1982.
CHRISTIAN STOLTE (Patrick) studied biology on the Louisiana bayou with David Bowie and TV’s Scott Baio. This concludes Mr. Stolte’s Bio-Bayou-Bowie-Baio-Bio.
From “A Mislaid Heaven” at Famous Door Theatre Co., which closes Sunday at the Theatre Building.
SISTER MARY REGINA, the beloved Reverend Mother of the Little Sisters of Aptakisic, is originally from a small county in Ireland called Kilquirky. She was part of an intrepid group of sisters who established a leper colony in the Mediterranean and later returned to Aptakisic as Superior General of the Order. After “Nunsense,” Mother Superior says she has no desire to continue in the theater, but she did indicate a willingness to do national commericials or a television series to raise money for the Order. Prior to taking her vows, Sister Mary Regina was known as Alene Robertson . . .
From “Nunsense” at Marriott’s Lincolnshire Theatre, summer of 1997.
A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY
JEREMY WECHSLER (Lumpkin) has been a director in Chicago for the last six years at Magellan Theater, Last Stand, DuckWorks, and Bailiwick. Some previous productions include “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead,” “The Ruling Class,” “Threepenny Opera,” “The Blood Knot,” “The Promise,” and “Playing By the Rules.” He is currently an artistic associate at Bailiwick, where he will be directing “Henry VI: Divided House” in January. (With his program bio, Wechsler chose to run a photo of Leon Trotsky).
From the 1997 production of “Smash” (a play about Marxism) at Bailiwick Repertory Theater.
MISS CONGENIALITY
MIERKA GIRTEN (ensemble) has just returned from a luxurious tour of “The Secret Garden” where she glued a dot to her forehead, danced barefoot, and sang about a large plastic flower garden for nine months. Besides all that, she has been lucky enough to participate in productions of “Cabaret,” “Into the Woods,” “Macbeth,” “Quilters,” “Beautiful City,” “The Taming of the Shrew,” “Little Shop of Horrors,” “Aida, Norma,” “Is There Life Aftern High School?,” “Beehive” (twice), The Nerd, and Separation (ed. note: Whew!). You may have seen Mierka in some local Cincinnati commericals (her hometown), or on the El coming home from a busy day of make-overs. (She’s also a make-up artist.)
From 1995’s “Dear Jackie” at Live Bait.
GOD AND FAMILY VALUES
ABBY MCENANY is tickled and delighted (words her mother would use) to be making her second stage appearance at Bailiwick. Abby was seen in “Aha!” last summer. She has studied improvisation at the Second City Training Center and Improv Olympic. She thanks her friends and family for their support. Her parents are particularly excited that she’s not using her college degree, and even more excited she is a lesbian.
From 1997’s “AHA: The Book Club” at Bailiwick Repertory Theater.
RACHEL HAMILTON (Raquel after 8 p.m.), born and raised in Washington, D.C., moved to the Midwest to attend Northwestern University, from which she received a degree in theater. On the road with the Second City National Touring Company, Rachel spent two years bringing funny to the people before joining the Second City e.t.c. Rachel was a member of e.t.c.’s “RiverAnts!” ensemble and is now thrilled to be on the Mainstage. She dedicates this performance to her mother and the Goddess Oprah.
From “Promise Keepers, Losers Weepers,” now playing at Second City.
C.C. BROWN (Tom Collins) is a native of New Haven, Conn. Favorite roles include John in “Miss Saigon,” Poppa in “Starlight Express.” James Thunder Early in “Dreamgirls,” the Narrator in “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat,” Hud in “Hair,” title role in “The Wiz” and featured roles in “Grand Hotel” and “Sophisticated Ladies.” “All praises to God! I love you Momma!!!”
“Rent,” now playing at the Shubert.
HOW TO WRITE A PROGRAM BIO
EXCERPTS FROM A 1996 LIVE BAIT THEATRE MEMO
To: The cast and crew of “Mondo Edwardo”
From: Edward Thomas-Herrera, your friendly neighborhood managing director
Re: Program bios
1. You are hereby strictly forbidden to start off your bio with the words “X is happy/delighted/ thrilled/excited/overjoyed, etc. to be working at Live Bait on this production of blobbity blah blah blah…” Rest assured, we here at Live Bait are very glad to hear you enjoy working with us, but rather than take up everyone’s valuable program space, why not just send us a card or surprise us with a lovely fruit basket? Besides, the next time you go see a show, take the time to note how many bios start with this exact phrase.
2. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good joke just as much as the next managing director, but we all have our limits. One or two might make a swell opener (three, if you’re really funny), but too many jokes and the conspicuous absence of a professional attitude tends to make one look-how shall I put this?-unprofessional. After all, wasn’t it the great Stanislavsky himself who once said, “If audience members take enough interest in your work to read your bio, try not to sound like a horse’s ass.”
3. Gratitude is a lovely sentiment, but please bear in mind: This is not the Academy Awards. Just one or two thank yous are sufficient.
SHE GOT THE MEMO
Since leaving the asylum (otherwise known as the Theatre School at DePaul University), ERIN DAILEY (the spunky redhead) has appeared in a number of productions including “Tango Edwardo” and “Telethon” at Live Bait, “The Pansy Kings’ Cotillion” and “Summer Shorts” at the Neo-Futurarium, and the Illegitimate Players’ “A Christmas Twist” at Bailiwick Repertory. Erin would like to state for the record that, although she is perfectly satisfied to return to Live Bait, she is by no means ecstatic, overjoyed and/or thrilled. She just thought you’d like to know.
From 1996’s”Mondo Edwardo” at Live Bait.
APPARENTLY, THE CAST OF DRURY LANE OAKBROOK’S “FOLLIES” DIDN’T GET THE MEMO
JEANNE CROFT (Sally) is very pleased to be returning to Drury Lane after recently portraying the roles of Mrs. Cratchit and the Ghost of Christmas Past in the TYA production of “A Christmas Carol.” She has also performed the role of Woman 3 …”
DIANE HOUGHTON (Hattie) is pleased to be returning to the Drury Lane stage for her second Sondheim production, having played Joanne in “Company” here some years ago. ARIANE DOLAN (Tango Ghost) is happy to be returning to Drury Lane and to be partnered with her god friend Paul Sullenger. She was last seen here as Dream Laurie in “Oklahoma!” Some of her favorite roles include Louise in “Carousel” (Candlelight), the Tango Dancer in “Evita” (Drury Lane Oakbrook) . …
ANNE LANGLEY (Emily Whitman) is delighted to be making her first appearance at Drury Lane Oakbrook. She was most recently seen as one of “Jerry’s Girls” with Music On Stage and as the Fairy Godmother in the Papai Players’ version of “Cinderella.” Since studying …
JEFF KUHL (Roscoe) is very excited to be making his Drury Lane Oakbrook debut with “Follies.” He has just finished appearing as Rusty Charlie in Marriott’s Lincolnshire’s “Guys and Dolls” and as the Ripper in the CD recording of a new musical, “The Ripper,” from Duane Nelson. Previously …
PAUL E. SULLENGER (Tango Ghost) is extremely excited to be returning to the Drury Lane Oakbrook stage. Paul has just come back from a seven month contract in Tokyo, Japan where he played Prince Charming in Tokyo . . .
LISA FAITH POGOFSKY (Francesca) is incredibly excited to be making her Drury Lane Oakbrook debut with “Follies.” A recent graduate from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, she majored in journalism and
