New rule: You’re allowed to guard gimpy chicken fighters. Pass it on.
THE MENACE
Dennis Rodman said when the Bulls win, it’s all Michael Jordan. When they lose, it’s all Rodman’s fault.
These comments, of course, come after Rodman showed up late–even for him–before the game, and later still when it was time to play in Game 2 against the Pacers.
But hey, at least Rodman can show up on time for pouty, childish blather. Not Eastern Conference finals games, mind you. But pouty, childish blather, sure.
CHOKE THIS
Disgraced Golden State guard Latrell Sprewell is suing the NBA and the team for $30 million as a result of his suspension for trying to strangle his coach, threatening to kill him and coming back 20 minutes later to slug him.
Sprewell’s lawyer, Robert Thompson, said it’s a race issue.
No, it’s an idiot issue.
Geez, you would think a lawyer would spot that immediately.
Especially a lawyer.
BIG OWWIE
Greg Norman, who underwent arthroscopic surgery on his left shoulder last month, will not be able to drive the pace car at the Indianapolis 500 on Sunday.
Gee, and Norman seemed to be the perfect guy for a job where you are expected to lose the lead.
He was replaced by someone from the White Sox staff.
PLAY BALL
Schaumburg was given a new franchise for a minor-league team. Schaumburg would join the renegade Northern League, which has no affiliation with major-league teams and is mostly for has-beens and never-wases.
But hey, at least James Baldwin won’t have to move.
A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN
The NFL has ruled owners can purchase teams in the gimmicked-up Arena Football League teams.
Finally, something for Michael McCaskey: fake football for a fake owner.
KICKED OFF
Mike Ovitz, the former Hollywood uberagent and Disney executive, wowed the NFL owners meeting in Florida with plans to build a stadium in Los Angeles for an expansion team that would start in 2002. Ovitz’s group contains such star power as Kevin Costner.
But the NFL has reservations about getting tied up with the guy who made the disaster “Waterworld.”
Not as long as “Wannyworld” still is playing, anyway.
