Cornel West and Sylvia Ann Hewlett have a message for parents in America: We have seen the enemy and it is not us.
But the enemy is just about everyone else–the government, the media, business, psychotherapists, schools, the social-welfare system, West and Hewlett say in their new book, “The War Against Parents: What We Can Do for America’s Beleaguered Moms and Dads.”
American society and culture, in short, is undermining the work of parents in nurturing the hearts and minds of our kids, say West, a professor of religion and African-American studies at Harvard University, and Hewlett, an economist and founder of the National Parenting Association.
In a market-driven society, the authors write, parenting is the ultimate non-market activity–and so it is not valued.
To critics, “The War Against Parents” is at cross-purposes with the desires of those who call for less government interference in our lives and more responsibility on the part of parents for their children’s behavior–and that includes many moms and dads.
To those who praise the book, it’s a well-analyzed yet emotionally responsive call to bolster the work of parents who are being responsible but find themselves struggling.
Hewlett and West take both conservatives and liberals to task. Conservatives, they say, have let the needs of the free market take precedence over the needs of families, while liberals have made self-fulfillment more of a priority than making personal sacrifices for the well-being of children.
West and Hewlett suggest changing direction by “rewriting our cultural script to give new value and dignity to the parental role.” Hence they’ve outlined a Parents’ Bill of Rights, using the successful GI Bill of Rights as a model. They formed a task force to gather testimony from parents around the nation and from experts to find out what families want and need most.
Q–How did we get to the circumstances you describe? Was it deliberate?
West–It’s a combination of lack of priorities. I don’t think we can say the elite are against raising children in a loving way. It’s not that kind of malicious attack.
Hewlett–A well-developed, on-track child is a wonderful thing for a nation to have. The costs are private and the returns are social. It is an extraordinary act of altruism from a parent to do his or her job well. But it’s profoundly unfashionable these days to be engaged in non-market activity. It gets sidelined. It gets pushed to the edges.
Q–You say the nation has a hard time understanding the significance of what is going on. Why? Is it because we say we value children but in reality we don’t?
West–Exactly. We hear a lot of rhetoric about family values and how much we love children, but when it comes down to priorities, we’d rather push the unregulated market and individualism.
Q–Are parents completely without responsibility for what is happening to families?
West–We acknowledge that parents can be as responsible as any other group. But the vast majority of parents are trying to do the right thing for their kids and find their backs pushed against the wall.
Q–What did you find was the biggest fight parents are waging?
West–Time crunch and economic security–not enough time and too much economic insecurity.
Q–Is trying to get the one (economic security) the reason they don’t have the other?
West–Definitely.
Q–There’s an entire chapter in the book on Promise Keepers and the Nation of Islam, two groups that tend to engender skepticism and distrust from a large segment of society. What can they offer?
West–A lot of people miss the parental energy that’s at the center of both groups. Both are concerned about how men can take more responsibility and come through for their children.
One misses that because of the xenophobia one sees in both groups. We can take what they have to offer and rechannel it in a democratic process without the xenophobia, without the homophobia, without the sexism.
Q–How can parents fight back? What weapons can we use?
Hewlett–We spent three years listening to parents, trying to find out what they need and yearn for. The Parents’ Bill of Rights essentially lays out the good news: that there is an enormous amount of common ground. It solves the time crunch and creates real economic security. It calls for flexibility on the job, compressed work weeks and paid parenting leave.
Q–Why do you call parent power a healing force?
West–It cuts across a deep racial divide. It cuts across a class divide. Black parents, brown parents, yellow parents, white parents –all are deeply concerned about their children. Nobody has a monopoly on that.
