Springer: Please meet Dave. He says the mother of his child left him five months ago and he’s been suffering ever since.
(They discuss his situation. Dave says he still loves her because of their daughter.)
Dave: I got to let you know something real quick.
Springer: Hey, this is your show.
Dave: The guy she left with, I never, I was probably out of work maybe two months of six years when I was fending for my family. She left with a pissant, mother – I’m not going to say the word – who can’t hold a job, never had his own (bleep) place, pardon my French. He’s the ugliest little piece of (bleep) I ever met in my life! All right, this guy’s got nothing going for him, OK? I love her to death; this guy wanted to get laid, OK? Period.
Springer: Do know this guy – or did you know this guy?
Dave: Yeah, he was almost my best friend at the time. I was letting him stay at my house.
Springer: All right, well let’s bring – I’ll tell you what, you can make your plea to your girlfriend of six years. Here is Lisa.
(The audience boos.)
Lisa: You are a lying (bleep) you know that?
Dave: Am I? Am I?
Lisa: Yes you are.
Dave: Why don’t you fill me in? For the first time in my life, why don’t you tell me the (bleep) truth?
Lisa: Why don’t you tell them about the time –
Dave: (now really agitated) Did I ever say I was innocent? Did I ever say I was innocent about anything? Maybe you want to put me on the spot then. Let’s go.
Lisa: Yeah, I’d like to, because I was unhappy with you. You did nothing, you laid there and you played Nintendo. You never even watched your child, you never took care of your child –
Dave: 75 hours a week I worked and you bitch about me coming home and (bleeeeeep).
Lisa: Yeah right, what about your kid?
Dave: Girl, what about my kid? I spent more time with her, (bleeeeeep). You are a lying sack of (bleep).
(The bickering continues for some minutes. Then they bring out the new boyfriend. Chaos reigns as several security men are needed to restrain Dave.)
Dave: OK, OK. I got something to say to him. You ever, you ever, you ever call me and laugh in my face about taking my daughter from me, (expletive) you gonna die!
